


A Long Road (to Happiness)

by MissLii



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angsty Schmoop, Happy Ending, M/M, Soulmates, The X Factor Era, mentions of bullying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-07-27 04:00:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7602568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissLii/pseuds/MissLii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>Liam and Louis are unwilling soulmates. At least at first.</em><br/> <br/>Or: It's the topic of almost every Hollywood romantic comedy ever made. It's always meet cute scenarios, and happy endings with the couple living happily ever after in their house with a white fence and a dog.</p><p>It feels wrong to him, where he sits alone on his bed in his room decorated with posters of his favourite bands, sheets with Batman on. It all makes him feel a bit icky, knowing that it would be forever. That feels like an awfully long time to him.</p><p>His soulmate would probably end up hating him, and then both of their lives would be miserable.</p><p>And even though Liam hates the idea of soulmates, he would hate to make his soulmate unhappy even more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've had this idea on my to-write-list for more than two years. Now I've finally started, and I've decided to post it as a WIP to make sure that I keep being focused on just this. I'll be quite long.

He's twelve when he realises that he doesn't want a soulmate. 

When it seems like all people except his family don’t like him. When he doesn't even have _one_ proper friend at school, why would his soulmate like him? It'll be forced, and that person would not _really_ like Liam. Not because who he is, but because some stupid part of their biology.

One touch to the skin is all it takes, and as cliché, as it sounds, after that you just _knows_. It's like being hit by lighting, though you don't risk dying from it. Life changing is what it is, and Liam hates that. He wants to be in control of his own life – he wants to pick someone to live with, to share his life with – if it's supposed to mean something.

Liam's mum says it's faith when you meet your soulmate. That it's supposed to be. But Liam doesn't think like that; he thinks it's just a weird part of being human. That they for some reason that can't be explained by science are paired with someone, without their choice.

It's the topic of almost every Hollywood romantic comedy ever made. It's always meet cute scenarios, and happy endings with the couple living happily ever after in their house with a white fence and a dog.

It feels wrong to him, where he sits alone on his bed in his room decorated with posters of his favourite bands, sheets with Batman on. It all makes him feel a bit icky, knowing that it would be forever. That feels like an awfully long time to him.

His soulmate would probably end up hating him, and then both of their lives would be miserable. And even though Liam hates the idea of soulmates, he would hate to make his soulmate unhappy even more.

Then it's better to be alone.

It's easy to stop touching people after that; it's the only way to make sure that he doesn't bond with someone by mistake. It's not like he can tell just by looking at someone if they're _the_ _one_ so he can't guess who he should touch and who he shouldn't.

It just takes one touch, and then it's done. Then you can't be apart from your soulmate without starting to feel sick after a few days, more the longer you're apart – sick with longing. So much that you stop being able to function after a while, headaches that make you tired and sick to your stomach. He's told that you don't want to be apart, so that side effect doesn't matter that much. 

Not when you've found your soulmate. Then it's worth a little pain.

There's a chance he doesn't even have a soulmate. Some people don't, and Liam envies them, hopes to be a part of that group. It's not what most people want, but it what _he_ wants.

It's not like you can't date, or marry and be happy with someone that's not your soulmate. It's just that there's always the risk of one part in the marriage bonding with someone else, and that the marriage would be annulled because of it.

The law is formed like that; that you don't even need to get divorced. One moment you're married, and then you are _not_. Liam is too young to properly understand, but he's heard about it on the news. Seen the protests from those who find it horrible, the laws that protect the bonded soulmates, and leaves the rest of the population with less.

His decision to stop trying to be a part of activities at school, just in case, causes people to look at him with confusion. That he shies away from people only causes his classmates to find him even weirder.

He doesn’t wear gloves, but he's careful where he puts his hands. It’s good to be careful anyway; he doesn’t want to add even more insults to the horrible words he’s been called. Always curling his hands into fists or putting them in his pockets.

He wants to be able to do what he wants. He wants to be an artist, though he’s not told anyone - he’s already been called gay boy, and worse, even though he’s not even sure what he is. 

It’s weird; that it’s still not totally acceptable to be gay or bisexual by part of their society, when it’s obviously it’s just the way you are. That it’s not something you decide by yourself. 

Even at the young age of twelve, Liam knows that. 

– – –

He tries to audition once when he's fourteen. 

Being a part of X Factor is scary in a good way, and it kills him inside when he doesn't get further than he does. Even though he knows he’s done good. He's young, the youngest of everyone that get past the first stage – for the first time in years, he feels good about himself. 

It's still hard. And when he's told to come back when he's older, in a way he doesn't want to do it again.

– – –

He tries once more when he’s sixteen. Still shy and a bit unsure, he gets up onstage to sing. The spotlight is still blinding, and his pulse speeds so much he thinks he’s about to faint right there on the stage in front of the judges. 

It’s scary but exciting, and Liam loves it. He wants to sing; that’s all he want in life.

The second times around, he tries even harder to focus on just himself. So many are talented, and he tries not to pay them any attention. Ties to not be scared of them, what they can do. 

Mostly he’s successful. 

He’s not there to make friends, so he scurries away when a blond – fake blond since the boy that looks to be Liam’s age got brown roots – tries to pull him into his room where a few lads sit on the bed, laughing loudly. 

Some people are harder to ignore, not only because they’re good. No, one boy Liam notices because he’s _so_ loud. It’s just not possible to ignore him. Louis, who for some reason makes sure that everybody knows his name, even Liam, is too much for Liam to deal with. 

He seems to take it all as a game when Liam takes it so very seriously. 

Louis is well fit, and he’s got a good, clear voice. He reminds Liam a bit too much of the people back home with the way he act, so it’s hard for Liam to think about him positively. 

And Louis is two years older than Liam, so Liam feels like he should be more mature. Everyone around Louis seems to find him fun, hilarious even, but Liam just sees even more flaws in himself when he’s around Louis. 

Something about Louis makes Liam feel very self-conscious. 

One good thing about Louis is that he seems to hate the idea of soulmates, maybe even more than Liam, frowning whenever someone mentions something about it. He touches people, is better about acting like you’re expected. Always punching the boys around him in the arm or pinching their clothed chest. 

He doesn’t touches anyone skin on skin, but nobody seems to think he’s odd. Liam notices, though.

Maybe it’s because he’s so careful himself. He can see how Louis pulls away but hides the sudden movement by pulling a prank.

Liam really does his best this time, too. But he’s still not good enough. He gets sent home, at the same point of the competition. 

A charming, curly-haired boy named Harry Styles wins. It’s a _fair_ win, Liam thinks. All of Great Britain seems to love him. 

After that, Liam starts practising even harder. Every weekend, his dad drives him from place to place, and he sings for people in small coffee shops almost every weekend. It’s not like he’s got anything better to do anyway. 

– – –

_Two years later_

His mum kisses his cheek as he pulls out of her tight grip. Her eyes are wet, and she looks like she’s about to hug him again.

“It’s fine, mum,” he says gently. “I’ve done this before, remember?”

She nods. “ I know. I just think we should be there for you.”

“If,” Liam pauses when his mum frowns, and changes to, “I want you guys first row _when_ I get through to the live show.”

Liam honestly thinks it’s unnecessary for his parents to miss work for this . _If_ he doesn’t do better than the last time; then it’s not really worth his mum’s tears.

Or his own.

His mum hugs him once more, and then she lets him go so he can catch his train to London.

The whole way there, he can’t stop thinking, going over every detail. He’s planned for this, and he wants it so much that it hurts to think about failing.

This time, it would feel like he’s a failure. 

At eighteen, he’s more determined than ever. He’ll make it this time. Third time’s the charm, and all that. 

If he doesn’t make it this time, he’s pretty sure he won’t try again. He doesn’t want to become someone the British people laugh at. 

Things are okay at home. He’s done with school since a few months back, and most people leave him alone now. He’s not interesting enough to keep his bullies attention even, it seems. 

Though, if he doesn’t make it this time; they’ll probably spend a couple of months shouting rude words after him again, whenever they see him around town. 

– – –

It’s just as daunting, all the people and the camera team that’s already working. And he’s just about to go into the building when someone tries to grab his arm. He can see it in the corner of his eye, so used to looking for things like that. 

Liam pulls away without thinking, heart skipping a beat in his chest as he blinks at the bloke in front of him.

It’s Niall, the blonde bloke from two years back. Niall’s not going to be his soulmate. It’s well known since his boyfriend is well known to the British people.

Their story has been all over the tabloids how they met when Harry Styles auditioned for the X Factor season he then later he won. Harry’s there too, of course. 

A blush spreads on his cheeks when he realises that he’s made a fool out of himself. For no reason at all since it’s impossible for him to bond with neither of the boys in front of him. 

Harry really made the most of his time on the telly, and sometimes Liam’s jealous of him.

Right now he’s mostly confused. _Why_ is Harry smiling at him as he leans into Niall. Liam’s not sure if Harry’s got bad posture, or if that’s what you do when you’re close to your soulmate.

“Liam right?” Niall asks with a friendly smile.

Unsure if this is a bizarre dream, Liam nods. _Why would Niall know his name? Why would he even care?_

“Mate, you were great on your season,” Niall says when Liam doesn’t say anything. 

Liam’s not felt this awkward since the last day at school. Still, his mum’s raised him right so he says, “You too.” He glances over at Harry. “You too, of course.”

“What Niall _means_ to say is that he had a crush on you,” Harry says, wiggling his eyebrows dramatically.

Niall just laughs loudly, elbowing Harry in the side. It’s a very gentle touch, and he winks at Liam when he does it. He must be joking, though. Nobody had a crush on him when he was sixteen. Most of all not on a television set where there were so many attractive persons.

Harry’s right next to him, too.

Flustered, cheeks even pinker, he blurts out, “What are you doing here? Like, you’re not _allowed_ to win twice, I think?”

That doesn’t seem fair to Liam, no matter how great Harry is.

Niall snorts out a laugh as if Liam were joking. But when he hears his own words, he thinks he sounds really rude. His mum would be ashamed. 

“Niall’s turn to win this thing,” Harry says, his voice sure. Proud. 

Niall looks like he’s heard it before; cheeks a bit flushed as he shakes his head. “They might put me in a group with Liam. That would surely help.”

“No threesomes, though,” Harry says with a slow drawl. It must be a joke, once again, because Niall giggles. 

“What? Liam mumbles, looking around to see if it’s all filmed. Just to make sure that nobody is pranking him.

Nobody, except some girls hurrying past pay them any attention. They must recognise Harry.

“Not that you’re not attractive,” Harry adds as if he’s worried that he’s hurt Liam’s feelings. Niall puts an arm around Harry’s back, whispers something in his ear.

“Niall tells me to shut up,” Harry says happily.

Niall rolls his eyes, still so fond looking that it’s almost painful for Liam to watch. “You should come in and wait with us?” 

Liam follows them mostly because he doesn’t know how to say _no_. He’s been rude enough as it is, and though neither Harry nor Niall thought so, Liam’s not sure he wants to try once more to offend them. He’s not sure why they bother with him, but he might like to have someone to talk to during the day. 

Now that he doesn’t have his family there – all his own choice – it might help to have someone to talk to when he’s nervous. 

Niall and Harry seem like good people. Neither of them laughed at his awkwardness, and their jokes weren’t mean. 

“So,” Harry says as he sits down next to Niall. Almost on top of him, one long leg over Niall’s lap and an arm wrapped around his shoulders. “I feel like we shouldn’t talk to you, being our competition. But we like you.”

 _You don’t know me,_ Liam doesn’t say. Instead, he lets them talk, and after a couple of minutes he relaxes. It’s quite nice. 

When he goes up on stage, he can hear his name being called. It’s good to have some kind of support, though it’s a new friendship – if now Liam can call it that this early on. 

– – –

Niall’s first to go on. He’s good, Liam thinks; they’re not really that much alike so Liam hopes they’re not put against each other for one spot. 

Niall’s got more of a singer-songwriter kind of wide, and he plays the guitar as he sings. But they’re the same age, and boys, so it’ll probably happen anyway. 

Liam cheers when Niall goes through, with one _no_ as a starter. Liam doesn't even realise that he’s holding his breath until the yeses come in a quick row. 

It feels weird to cheer for someone who’s his competition. But the hours he’s spent with Niall – and Harry – made him feel like he was a part of something. He’s not used to that, being part of a group. 

In a way, he hopes that Niall’s joke about them being part of a group or duo becomes true. He’s never seen himself as anything than a solo artist. But he thinks Niall could help him relax, even though the stage fright as he suffers from himself. 

(Liam noticed how pale he was when he was about to enter the stage.)

He takes on deep breath, and then he sings. Those minutes, he doesn’t think about anything – just lets himself get lost in the music. 

It’s worse afterwards when he tries to listen to what the judges say. What he’s done well. It sounds like they’re happy with his performance. It’s still hard to really _know_ , so he bites the inside of his cheek and forces himself to stand still. Restless as he is, it’s even harder than usually. 

But Liam’s makes it through the first round, with four yeses from the judges. It feels good – and he allows Niall to hug him when he gets off stage. First, he’s stiff and is about to pull away when he remembers that it’s safe. That nothing bad can happen. 

It feels weird to have someone wrapped around him, warm and tight. 

It’s not a bad feeling. 

“Let’s sit down and watch the rest,” Niall says, not leaving any room for Liam to question it before he drags Liam away. 

Liam’s learning to just to with it, and weirdly enough he doesn’t feel out of place with Niall and Harry. They’re acting like such a couple, sharing one seat. Still, Liam feels like they include in. 

They’re far back in the crowd, and they can’t see much. 

“Work it, Tommo,” Niall shouts as he pushes Harry off of his lap. He shouts once more when he stands up.

The name’s not familiar to Liam, but the voice is. Liam can’t really place it; it just feels like he’s heard it before somewhere. They’re too far away; he can’t tell more than that it’s a youngish lad, with brown hair that sings. 

Niall looks almost as nervous as when he was about to go up on the stage. And he claps loudly and cheers when the contestant is told he’s through, too. 

“Our roommate,” Harry explains when Liam looks at him questioningly. 

That doesn’t clarify anything to Liam, but he nods and smiles. 

– – –

When it’s time to move into the judge's house, Liam’s got Niall’s and Harry’s phone numbers in his mobile. They’ve texted back and forth a bit, and Niall’s offered up a place on their sofa – in their already crowded flat – if Liam wanted a place to stay in London for a few days. 

He looks forward to seeing Niall again, and he hopes to room with him this time. Last time, he’d a roommate that he barely talked to, and he imagines that it’d be a lot more fun with Niall. 

When he’s finally in the house, he’s followed by a camera team into the room he’s given. He tries to ignore it. Tries to act naturally. 

As soon as he sees who’s standing in the middle of _his_ room, he comes to a sudden stop. Oh no; it’s not Niall he’s rooming with. 

But he knows this lad since last time too, though. 

_Louis_. 

Liam’s not forgotten about him, though he’s tried. Suddenly, Liam knows why he recognised the voice from the first audition. That also means that Louis is Niall’s and Harry’s roommate. 

Does this mean he’s going to lose Niall, the one friend he’s started to make – except for Harry, who’s there all the time too. But he’s more or less a part of Niall, so Liam can’t imagine that he’ll get to keep either of them. 

“Well then,” Louis says, not reaching out to shake Liam’s hand. Instead, he puts his hands in his back pockets. “I guess you’re the roommate. I’m Louis.” 

Liam’s staring at his thighs, he realises that when Louis smirks at him. It’s not Liam’s fault, though; Louis’ jeans are _really_ tight. Even tighter when he’s got his hands pushed into his pockets. 

It’s just that Louis’ thighs are really nice. 

Liam clears his throat, but his voice still sounds weird as he says, “ _Liam_. I’m Liam.” It’s so awkward. And there is a camera there to capture it all. 

_How’s Liam going to deal with Louis so close to him? How’s he going to concentrate with him right there?_

It doesn’t take long for Louis to get bored with him, and then he goes back to pushing his full duffle in underneath the bed. He throws himself on the bed, more focus on his mobile than Liam as he says, “You can take the top bunk.”

Liam nods and walks over to the bed, and puts his bag next to it. He spends some time unpacking, carefully putting his clothes into the drawer. They won’t be wrinkled, unlike Louis’ stuff. 

Though, as tight as Louis’ jeans are, the wrinkles won’t be noticeable. The fabric will be totally stretched out. 

Liam shouldn’t think about _that_ , though. Louis is competition, and even if he weren’t, Liam’s not interested in anything like that. Some parts of the non-touching thing, he didn’t think through when he was twelve. 

Like the fact that he’s now unkissed at eighteen.

He wonders if Louis has kissed someone; he looks like someone that has. He’s probably snogged someone that’s already got a soulmate, someone that he could have fun with. Louis _is_ even more attractive now even; tattoos randomly placed on his chest and arms. 

Louis is only wearing a loose tank top, and he’s all sprawled out on the bed. It’s hard not to notice the ink. 

Liam feels alone even though he’s not the only one in the room. Maybe he should try to talk to Louis this time, but he can’t figure out what to say to him. 

When he’s done unpacking, he climbs up to his bed. He could always text Niall and ask what he’s doing, or he could sleep for an hour; he’s a bit early to the house. 

Before he can do anything, there’s a sound in the hallway. 

“Fuck yeah,” Niall says happily, leaning into Liam’s and Louis’ room. “I should sleep here with you. Think they’ll let me move my mattress here?”

“ _Please_ , I get enough of you and Harry fucking at home,” Louis laughs, slapping Niall in the dick when he’s within reach. 

Niall shrugs, unbothered. “You’re lucky to get to hear us fucking.”

Liam’s blushing again; he can feel his whole face heating up. This is so not what he’s used to. 

He’s surprised when Niall uses the ladder to get up into his bed. Liam’s sure he looks like a goldfish, mouth open in confusion, but he’s never shared a bed with anyone. 

“Careful with your knee.” Louis sounds worried, like a big brother. 

Niall huffs as he climbs over the edge and pushes at Liam so he can lie down. “You’re doing good, right?” His voice is quiet. 

Liam shrugs, slowly relaxing when Niall just waits for him to figure out what he feels. 

“So bloody boring here,” Louis mutters, waving lazily as he walks out of the room. 

So, Louis is still a dick then. Liam had hoped he wasn’t. That they maybe would get along this time. Seems like he was wrong about that. 

“Ignore him,” Niall says gently, squeezing Liam’s hand. “He’s just nervous.”

 _That’s not the way you act when you’re nervous_ , Liam thinks. He doesn’t say anything; Louis has been Niall’s friend a lot longer than he’s been his. 

Niall talks for more than half an hour about how great Harry is, in every way. He sounds so in love, and Liam’s almost envious. 

Louis doesn’t come back to their room. 


	2. Chapter 2

\-- -- --

Later that night, Liam is in Niall’s room. It’s been a long day, it feels like. He’s tired, and he could use a good night of sleep -- though he’s not sure how he’s going to sleep with Louis in the same room. Louis doesn’t exactly put him at ease like Niall manages to do. 

If anyone else had asked to come over and hang out, Liam would have said no. No, no and _no_. 

But now he’s here, concentrating on smiling like he really wants to be there. In a way, he does want to let go, have proper fun. It’s just that he’s never done anything like this; he’s not sure how to act. 

He’s next to Louis on the bed, and while Liam’s taller than him, Louis takes up more space. Liam tries to curl in on himself, his knees drawn up to his chest and hands in his lap, making himself even smaller.

Louis throws glances at him, from time to time, but he’s not said anything to Liam since he left their room before. Liam’s got no idea where he went, but he was in a lot better mood afterwards. 

Liam’s not sure what he did to make Louis mad at him. Except for ‘stealing’ his mate, but Niall is plenty sharable -- he’s affectionate enough, all warm smiles and hugs. 

Harry’s lucky to have him as his soulmate, Liam reckons. It must be nice to have someone like Niall when you live such a public and hectic life as Harry seems to be doing. 

Niall’s got a storage of beers and snacks, and he lets every take what they want. Harry’s probably not poor, and Liam’s a bit confused -- why does Louis even live with them, they don’t seem to _need_ to share such a small space for real. 

They probably could move somewhere else. But Liam’s been told they like their flat, that it is cozy and that they’ve created so many memories there. 

Louis' elbow digs into his side for a second when Louis leans forward to take two bears from a red-haired guy. Niall seems to know everybody’s name, but Liam’s a bit more lost on that, still. 

Liam shakes his head when Louis tries to give him one. He’s not sure alcohol right now is a good idea; his kidney won’t like it, and Liam’s not sure he could trust himself not to do anything stupid. 

Loss of control is not something he likes, and maybe that’s why he still feels weird about being bonded to a soulmate. 

Louis looks offended when Liam doesn’t take the beer bottle. “Suit yourself. I’ll just drink them both.”

Liam shrugs. It sounds like a bad idea, but he knows Louis is going to call him boring if he says no. So, he stays quiet. 

Liam looks like his hands, hating the putout look on Louis’ face. Harry looks at him a bit too closely when he lifts his head again; Liam takes a deep breath and plasters on a smile again. He gives Harry a thumb up. 

He doesn’t want Harry to think that he’s not having fun. Maybe he’s not having the same kind of _fun_ that Louis has, the first of his two beer bottles already empty. 

It’s -- _nice_ , Liam would say. It’s nice to be with people that have fun, but don’t make fun of him. He could get used to this. 

“Let’s have some fun,” Louis says in a mischievous voice, glancing around the room. Except for Harry and the red-haired bloke -- Ed, Liam thinks Niall called him --, there are four amazingly pretty girls that seem to gravitate towards together. 

If such a thing as having more than one soulmate, Liam would have thought that they all belonged together. They all look delighted, nodding in sync. 

“Don’t know if we should be worried,” Niall mumbles from where he sits in Harry’s lap. “We know what happened last time we lived in this house.” The laughter in his voice tells that he doesn’t really mind, though. 

Liam doesn’t know what happened last time. He closed the door to his room, ignored them all. He’s a bit curious but pushes that feeling away. 

It’s probably stupid anyway. 

“I’d say we give the rest of the competition a surprise to wake up to,” Louis grins. “Shaving cream in their shoes, yeah? You can’t go wrong with the classics.”

“We should practice, or something. It’s a big day tomorrow,” Liam protests. Apparently, he couldn’t stay quiet, and he wants to take back the words as soon as they’re out of his mouth.

“Stop being so boring, mate,” Louis mutters, hand halfway out to pinch Liam’s nipple when Liam flattens himself back against the wall. 

“Um,” Liam mumbles. He’s cursing himself out in his head, and dips his chin. _Why can’t he stop blushing around Louis?_

Louis huffs and shakes his head. 

Liam thinks it’s less nice after that. Before Louis didn’t talk to him, but now it feels like he’s outright ignored -- Louis doesn’t even look at him.

“Think I’m going to go to bed,” Liam says, hiding a yawn behind his hand. He really is tired but he was before, too. Now he just wants to get away. 

Niall gets up to hug him when he gives the whole room a wave, and he gets an air kiss from Harry. 

“See you tomorrow, mate,” Niall says as he pats his back. “We’re going to _kill_ it.”

Liam smiles when he pulls out of Niall’s arms, and nods. They are going to kill it. Liam’s been practising so hard, and Niall’s going to charm the judges into giving him everything he wants. 

Much later, when Louis comes back to the room, Liam’s still not asleep. He does his best to keep his breathing slow and even, not wanting Louis to know that he’s awake. 

Louis turns on the light still, giggling under his breath. He stumbles a bit when he tries to get out of his jeans, and Liam turns to his side, facing the wall. 

Louis mumbles out a quiet ‘goodnight’ when the light is out again. Liam just pretends like he’s been asleep the whole time. But it takes long for him to actually fall asleep, Louis’ loud snores filling the room as he twists and turns. Liam hopes that the snoring is a drunken thing, but he doesn’t really know. It’s not like he’s been around any drunk people like this before; Liam’s not one to get invited to parties.

\-- -- --

Everything happen in a rush, one things after the other. Everything so intense that Liam barely has time to deal with all the impressions of the days in the judge’s house. 

Things are going great, he thinks. He’s done his best, and his voice has been solid, for most parts. The small wobbles that happen because of nerves, he makes up by adding some extra push in his voice the next verse. 

He’s done everything he can. Now, it’s not in his hands anymore. 

They’re standing outside by the pool, waiting for the judges to give their verdict. Simon is talking, but Liam can’t focus on what he’s saying. It’s just jumble of words that make little sense to him. 

Niall’s the one on his left, and Louis is on his right. He can’t look at either of them. He’s too nervous. 

The wait is horrible, and as long as it looks on the telly, it feels even longer. Liam’s hands are shaking, and the smile on his lips is stiff. 

It’s now or never. It’s the same elimination that he’s been sent home the two last time. 

Liam can’t come back one more time, can’t will himself to try again. He’s sure of it already. Mostly it’s fun, but it’s also nerve-wracking, and he’s got a hard time sleeping in a bed that feels wrong, in a room with a boy that obviously hates him. 

It’s not gotten better between him and Louis. 

Louis who might be the one that sends him home. He’d probably like that.

At this point, the production would probably not let him be a part of this once more -- he can’t remember all the rules on the papers he’s signed. How many times can one person be interesting enough to show on telly? Soon he’ll be old news, even though he’s so young.

“Niall,” Simon says, and Liam forces himself to listen. He wants this to work out for Niall. “You’re through to the show. Congratulation.”

Niall jumps up and down, and Liam catches him in a hug.They squeeze each other hard. It’s the first hug he’s taken initiative for, but Niall’s happiness is so catching that he can’t help himself. 

Niall gets to leave their line, goes to hug Harry that’s waiting as closely as he’s allowed. Next to a potted plant that he’s partly hidden behind. 

Then a few boys get told _no_ , and Liam feels himself get more and more nervous the longer the wait gets. He’s not sure it’s a good or a bad thing that they’re dragging out his result. 

Louis is waiting, too. It’s all okay, Liam tries to tell himself. 

But then they tell the one other boy still in the line that it’s the end for him, and Liam stops thinking. His head is just blank.

“Louis and Liam,” Simon says slowly, motioning them forward with his hand. They take a step forward, both at the same time. 

Now they’re up against each other. Liam looks at Louis, realises that he too thinks just one of them is going to go through. Louis looks devastated like he’s sure he’s the one that’s going to go home. 

Liam’s not so sure. Louis has something special. Liam can see that even though he doesn’t particularly like Louis. 

It’s such a classic reality television thing to do; to just pick one of the last two in the line up. Liam steels himself for the result. 

“This is the end,” Simon says, and Liam’s knees start to shake. He’s about to sent home. 

Simon drags it out, leaning back in his chair as he looks between them. Then he adds, “At least for the two of you as solo artists. We’ve decided to let you through as a group. Well, a duo since it’s just the two of you.”

“What?” Liam blurts out, sure he’s heard _wrong_. How can Simon think that’s a good idea -- Liam wants to be a solo artist, and if he’s not, he doesn’t want to work with Louis. 

It’s going to be a disaster. It’ll all go to hell. Louis doesn’t want to work with him. And most of all, Liam can’t can’t responsibility for his own future. 

He’s not going to say no to this opportunity, though. 

“Thank you,” he says, and Louis adds his own thanks just afterwards. So, it looks like it’ll be the two of them together, for as long as they’ll manage to stay in the competition. 

Louis pats his back, in some sort of congratulation. It must be for the cameras. 

They don’t say anything as they walk away from the judges. Liam is happy; he’s gotten further this time -- he’s going to be on the live show. 

It’s just _weird_. How he came into the competition hoping to achieve this, and he’s done it -- sort of anyway -- but he’s as worried as he’s happy. 

He’s not sure how it’s going to work, the two of them as a duo.

But Louis wants the same thing he does. He must do since he came back to try once more. So maybe it’ll be all right. 

\-- -- --

It’s a disaster; Liam thinks tiredly. Louis has not been doing what he’s been told the last half hour and is now whispering something to Niall -- who does look amused by his antics. It’s not Niall’s time to work with their coach by the piano, so it’s not his time Louis is wasting. 

Liam pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a deep breath. 

“Come on, Louis,” he says, trying to keep the whine out of his voice. He’s not totally successful, but it’s not the first time he’s told Louis to focus. 

Louis doesn’t even look at him. Liam feels sorry for the people working with them; everything takes longer than needed, they way things are going. 

“We need to practice,” Liam says, once again.

Louis straightens up and actually joins Liam in front of the piano. “Don’t think we need it when we have you.”

It kind of sounds like a compliment and Liam’s not sure how to react to that. _Should he say thanks? Does that make him seem awkward?_

Before he can come up with the proper response, Louis starts talking to the coach about the first bridge in their song, ‘Torn’. 

It seems like Liam missed his chance to say anything. At least without making a fool out of himself. 

\-- -- --

When it’s time for their first live show, they sound good. There’s still some things Liam wishes they could do better, some parts that need more practice. 

Liam’s whole family is in the audience, and his mum’s been behind the set to hug him good luck. A bunch of kids, along with a woman that Liam assumes is Louis’ mum, hugged Louis at the same time. Liam doesn’t really know anything about Louis, he realises. One moment he seems sharp and loud, and then he’s talking in a sweet voice to cute little kids. 

Liam really doesn’t understand him, but he’s probably not even tried. He’d feel awful if he didn’t know that Louis doesn’t care about him. 

Liam takes a small step closer to Louis to not be in the way of people rushing past him. “And then we just need focus on our marks, be in the right spot for the cameras.” 

Louis rolls his eyes. “You’ve said that already, Liam.”

Liam knows he’s done that. But it’s serious; they’re going to be on live television, this could change both of their futures. 

Liam’s the one that starts, sings one whole verse before Louis’ voice joins him. It’s not his idea to arrange it this way, Louis’ voice a pitch higher, a bit more fragile. It works even though he wonders if it’s fair that he gets more parts than Louis, when they’re a duo. 

Then they can just wait, with smiles on their faces as they wave into the camera as the presenter tells the audience how they vote. 

Somehow they make it through, and for the first time when Louis smiles at him, it feels genuine. 

For some reason, Liam wants to hug him, and he takes a small step towards Louis before he remembers that he can’t. 

It’s just the rush of joy; he’d probably hug the whole world if he could. 

“We did it,” Louis says in a quiet voice, sounding proud. 

Liam nods; they really did it. Then Niall makes it through too -- just like Liam thought he would -- and Liam’s so happy that he jumps up and down when Niall bounds over to hug him. 

The four girls that Liam met in Niall’s room at judge’s house also make it. They’re now a group, called Little Mix. 

They sound like they’ve been working together for ages, and Liam’s a bit envious how easy it seems to be for them. How well they fit together. 

Liam can’t imagine that he and Louis ever will fit so well. Not even if they go all the way. If they for some reason kept trying after that. 

\-- -- --

Later that night at a party Niall invited him to, Louis is drunk on beer and something stronger that he offers Liam in a plastic glass. 

“No,” Liam says as politely as he can, wrinkling his nose. “No, thank you.”

“I want to toast my victory boy,” Louis mumbles, swaying a bit back and forth. Liam wants to reach out and steady him, but Louis has changed into a loose tank top and Liam’s too afraid to touch skin to do anything. 

Liam flushes -- is it pride he feels? He doesn’t know. His stomach feels warm, and he’s tempted to try the pink drink in Louis’ hand.

“I only have one one kidney.” 

Louis’ eyes widen, and he then he frowns as he seems to think very hard on whether what Liam says is true or not. “You’re bullshitting me,” he decides on, flopping his drink around so it slouches over his fingers. 

He doesn’t seem to notice. 

“No,” Liam says, shaking his head. “It’s _true_ , I promise.”

Louis gives him one more long look, and Liam shifts under his gaze. “That’s weird.” It’s not meant mean, Liam thinks. He’s just drunk and curious. 

Liam shrugs. It is kind of weird, but not weirder than the whole soulmate thing, he reckons. 

“You could have just one tiny sip,” Louis suggests, holding the drink underneath Liam’s nose. It smells kind of sweet and fruity, and Liam shrugs again.

“One small sip,” Liam agrees; Louis did help him advance in the competition. One tiny sip won’t make him drunk. 

Louis giggles, and Liam tilts his head in confusion. He didn’t say anything fun at all, but Louis’ eyes are glazed over. He’s probably not thinking straight.

Louis offers him the drink once more, and Liam takes it. Careful not to touch Louis’ fingers. Louis seems to be a lot less aware of his movements when he’s drunk so Liam feels like he’s got to be extra, extra careful.

Liam takes a small sip, his nose scrunching up at the taste. It’s sweet of strawberries, but it’s strong too. He can’t figure out the taste -- he knows it’s alcohol, but not what kind.

Louis just stands there though Liam’s sure he’s got people he’s friends with there. People he likes and not just someone he’s been more or less forced to spend time with. 

Louis is a bit unsteady so maybe it’s good if Liam keeps the drink, it is kind of tasty. With his luck, Louis will fall over all him and they’ll bond. Just like that. 

Liam huffs out a laugh. What a _ridiculous_ thought. Liam can’t understand why the universe would think that would be a good idea.

Now it’s Louis who looks confused and he pokes Liam in his side with a pointy fingers. “Hey,” he grumbles. “Don’t have fun without telling me what it is that’s funny.”

Liam shakes his head so hard his curls bounce around his head.“Nothing.”

Louis pokes him again, and Liam wriggles away when he’s got to bite back a laugh. It tickles, and he knows that Louis will use the knowledge of Liam’s ticklish spots to his own advantage. 

Liam doesn’t say anything, and Louis throws his arms up, as if he gives up. Liam might have amused him if he admitted to thinking that Louis was his soulmate. Liam wonders, baffled, to why he would want to do _that_ of all things. 

Louis doesn’t take the drink with him as he walks away.

Not used to alcohol, it doesn’t take more what’s of Louis’ drink. Liam gets a bit drunk, and then he tells everyone he talks to how great they are. His head is a bit fuzzy when he leaves the party, but he thinks Louis was one of those people.


	3. Chapter 3

Liam goes home over the day, and people notice him like they’ve never done before. Liam nods politely to people he doesn’t know, but he doesn’t really want to spend time with people that have never cared about him before. 

Not if they care about him now just because he’s suddenly is sort of famous – at least for the moment. He’s in awe that people seem to find him cute. It’s probably partly because he’s put in a duo with Louis, who even Liam can admit is very fit. Girls are drawn to him, his humour and quick wit.

He hopes it’s not just Louis’ looks and his own _adorableness_ – seriously, Liam’s baffled by how many followers he’s gotten on his new Twitter account, and by the messages he gets from teenage girls – that make them interesting. He really hopes it is the way the sound together on stage. 

It’s easy to say ‘yes’ when he gets a text from Niall to come visit. At first, he doesn’t realise that saying yes also means that Louis very probably will be there too. He lives there after all. Liam feels a bit stupid for it, but he can deal with Louis for a day extra if it means getting away from Wolverhampton. 

He’s done with fake people wanting to be his ‘friend’ now. 

“You sure you’ve everything you need now?” His mum asks, smiling even though her eyes looks wet as if she’s about to start crying _again_. 

Liam’s mum seems almost as happy that he’s going to visit Niall as she is that he’s on to the next week’s show in the competition. She’s not used to him having real friends, and Liam reckons that must be hard. She’s seen him sad so many times and has been unable to do anything to make it better. 

“Yes,” Liam says, nodding earnestly. He’s probably packed more than he needs, but he’s planned not to go home again before he needs to go back to the show. It’s a lot less stressful that way. And he won’t look like a slob.

Liam worries a lot more than he needs to sometimes, but he spends most of the train there with music in his earbuds, trying to figure out what fits him and Louis.

Of course, Louis is the one that opens the door, in a pair of worn joggers and a washed out tank top. Liam feels overdressed.

“Well, well,” Louis tuts, lifting his eyebrows. “Look who we’ve here.”

Awkward, Liam shifts from foot to foot. Louis is kind of in the way, leaning against the door frame with the door only halfway open. Liam could squeeze past, but that would be rude; Louis lives there and Liam can’t just barge in. 

Louis is wearing too little clothes too, and there’s the risk of touching the bare skin of his pointy shoulder. 

“Niall invited me,” Liam says, and it comes out harsher than he means for it to do. As if he’s defending his right to even be there. 

Louis takes a step back and waves lazily with his arm. “Go on, be my guest.”

Liam drags his trolley after himself and closes the door. To avoid Louis’ intense gaze, Liam looks around the hall. It makes him feel even more awkward when Louis is more or less staring openly at him, just standing there. It's cosy, beige walls and soft colours on the furniture. It’s really crowded with shoes on the shelf, and it’s quite obvious there are different boys with three very different styles living there.

It looks a bit like all of them; Louis’ vans are hastily thrown next to a pair of Harry’s worn leather boots. 

“Niall and Harry are out,” Louis says, and Liam nods to show that it’s okay though it makes him nervous. Spending time alone with just Louis, it’s not what he thought he’d do today.

At least, Louis doesn’t pretend to like him. So maybe it’s better than at home anyway.

“I guess you don’t want a beer,” Louis says, not bothering to phrase it as a question. Liam follows him as he walks into the flat, through a living room with a big, purple sofa and a big television, into the kitchen. Everything looks new and fancy as if it’s been recently replaced. 

Liam shakes his head. “No, thank you.” It’s not a good idea; the last time Liam drank, he felt like shit the day after – not that he thinks one beer would do the same to him a Louis’ pink cocktail. 

For all he knows, he might just tell Louis that he’s great once more. He counts himself lucky that Louis doesn’t seem to remember it the last time. He’s not said anything about it afterwards, and Liam was so sure that Louis was going to tease him for it forever. 

Louis shrugs and takes out one for himself. Liam looks on as he opens it, and leans against the counter. Liam feels so out of place, and he looks around the room to find something – _anything_ – to focus on. He can’t just stand there and look at Louis as he drinks. 

“It’s mostly Harry who spends time here,” Louis tells him, filling the silence when Liam can’t find anything to say to Louis. “Though Niall’s not shit in the kitchen either.”

Liam’s surprised he even bothers. He could just leave Liam in the living room to entertain himself; Louis has got a room of his own, he’s been told. 

Maybe Liam should ask for a tour, but what should he do in Louis’ bedroom? Liam’s pretty sure they’re not that good friends though they seem to be able to be in the same room when they’re not working together. 

At least, for a couple of minutes. 

“Must be great to live with them then,” Liam says earnestly. 

Louis looks fond, softer somehow when he smiles. “They’re idiots, but they’re kind of great, too.”

Liam’s been too caught up in Louis, even though he’s tried not to be – that he’s not noticed anyone coming in. So when Niall shouts, “Hey, we’re not idiots, you idiot,” he startles and yelps.

Louis puts down his beer on the counter, just before Niall attacks him with. It looks like he knows just what’s coming when Niall tries to get him in a headlock, laughing and insulting him. 

Though, it’s more like a hug with tickling and pinching than a proper wrestling match. 

“Hiya,” Harry mumbles softly and hugs Liam in greeting. Liam’s still struggling with all this human contact, the handsiness, but it’s nice. 

It’s surprising just _how_ nice it is. 

“They’re…” Liam trails off; he doesn’t know how to explain Niall and Louis. 

“I know,” Harry hums and pecks his cheek as he pulls away. 

“I think you should be jealous,” Louis says just as he manages to get free from Niall’s grip. Liam doesn’t think either of them was trying very hard before. He opens the fridge and gives Niall a beer. 

Niall salutes him and hops up on the counter. He winks at Liam and takes a long sip of his beer. 

Harry picks up a banana from the fruit basket and peels it slowly. Liam didn’t think people his age had those, but Harry’s not like most people he’s met. It must be his and not Niall’s who seem less of a fruit guy.

“We’re going to use him for our threesome.”

Liam splutters, at a loss for words. He thought that joke was over and done with, but obviously, it’s not. He’s already pink-cheeked; Harry is very attractive though Liam’s not attracted to him, and he’s never gotten _any_ kind of kiss before. 

Except his mum, and that doesn’t really count. 

“Hey,” Louis grumbles, with what Liam thinks is faked annoyance. “You promised me that part. You can’t have _new boy_ here come in and take my place.”

Liam wrinkles his nose – ‘new boy’ is not the rudest thing he’s been called, but it takes him some time to figure out if Louis means it as an insult or not. He settles on not. Louis is sharper than that, and his tone is pretty mellow right now, his eyes a bit too fond as he looks between Harry and Niall.

He doesn’t really pay Liam any attention at all. 

“Maybe we should move this to the living room?” Liam suggests. The sofa looked really comfortable, and he’s been travelling. It would be nice to sit down and lean back. 

“See, that’s why we keep him around. To think, not for hypothetical bloody threesomes that’ll never happen because you’re so disgustingly cute with each other,” Louis says with a floppy hand gesture towards Liam. “He’s smarter than the two of you.”

“Thanks,” Liam says slowly even though Louis didn’t really talk to him. 

Instead of answering, Louis opens a cupboard behind himself. There're snacks up there; Liam can see all sorts of crisps even though they are on the top shelf.

“Do you want h –?” Harry starts and Liam thinks he means to ask if Louis wants help getting them down, but Louis stretches up on his tip toes and drags down a two bags of crisps. 

“Don’t understand why we keep them up there, not everybody’s a fucking giant here,” Louis says. It sounds like an old argument, and he doesn’t seem to care for an answer. Instead, he takes as much as he can, one bag of crisps under each arm and two beers in both his hands. 

“Grab a few beers, Harry,” Louis tells him haughtily as he walks out of the room. “I’ll put on a game of FIFA.”

“Oh, first round,” Niall says happily and slides down from the counter. 

Liam helps Harry carry a few beers though he’s unsure if they really need them all. He could just go and get more later, but he figures this is what they do. He’s just happy to be a part of it at all. 

Liam is the last one to sit down to the living room, and for some reason, Niall sits in the corner with Louis on his left. Then there’s a free spot, and then there’s Harry, who looks angelically innocent. 

Louis looks like he cares more about the beer and the tv-game than where to sit, bare feet on the table. But he must be confused too. Usually, Harry and Niall are all over each other. Most often a bit inappropriately so, hands in places where you probably shouldn’t touch in public. 

As long as it’s above clothes, Liam’s okay with it. Even public dick-grabbing can’t stop Niall and Harry from being cute together, it seems. 

It’s probably Harry who’s trying to meddle – he obviously wants Liam to like Louis, and Liam doesn’t want to disappoint Harry when he pats the place next to himself on the sofa. Niall’s probably in on it, the two of the scheming. So 

On the telly, Niall and Louis have already started their game. And Liam turns his head to Harry when he says his name. 

Harry talks to him in a quiet voice as Louis and Niall trash talk each other, pressed close enough to each other on the sofa that they can nudge at each other with their elbows. Louis’ beer is sitting between his thighs, too far away from the table apparently, and Liam’s tempted to move it and hold it for him – just not to make a mess, that is. 

Not that he really _wants_ to help Louis. At least, he doesn’t think so; Liam would say that he’s a pretty polite lad, but he and Louis are not friends though they’re friendlier now. 

Liam had no idea he missed so many things that happened the last time he was on the show, but it seems like he did from Harry’s stories. Sometimes it’s hard to keep up with the twists and turns when Harry talks – more like rambles but it a very slow drawl. 

Sometimes Liam thinks that Harry’s no idea where he’s going with the story. Or if he just gets confused along the way. It’s all very amusing anyway, and Liam giggles and smiles wide, eyes squeezing shut and nose scrunched up. 

“Ugh,” Louis groans and Liam startles as he turns to him fully. “Put that face away. Can’t have you looking like that now.” 

Liam didn’t even think Louis looked at him. He sobers up slightly, smile dimming a bit as he says, “Sorry.”

Louis groans louder when Niall scores and wins the game it seems; his victory dance a silly jig. “And _don’t_ say sorry.” 

Liam looks at Harry to see if he can help him figure out what he should do, but Harry just shrugs and says, “I’ve no idea.”

The next round, Liam gets to play Niall, and when he wins that game – he gets to play Louis. At this point, Niall tries to snog Harry on the sofa but gets told off by Louis for it. “You’ve your own bloody bedroom. You can fuck each other’s brains out there.”

Liam even tries to trash talk Louis back, just not as loud or rudely as Louis. But Louis seems almost pleased by it. Proud even. Liam’s mostly confused, by Louis, and what he says and does. 

Liam sleeps better than he thought on the sofa. It’s soft, a bit too soft to spend more than a couple of nights on. 

– – –

Liam’s become used to the hectic life of being on a national television show. In a weird way, it’s all routine now. Every week, it’s a new number to learn but it’s the same people around them, and the same stage they get up on to sing. 

It’s still as nerve-wracking, and Liam’s not kidding himself that he’s safe in the competition. But he feels more confident as the weeks pass, each of them going on to the next live show. 

He’s still not used to Louis – sometimes he thinks that they’re doing better, but then Louis disappears when they’re supposed to be rehearsing. Or something else that frustrates him close to tears.

Though they are doing better when they’re not competing, then it’s just as it was in the beginning. As in, Liam’s upset with Louis more often than he should be since they’re are a duo. 

They might have made it through the last weeks show, and gotten good feedback, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t need to practice now. It’s a new song and a new number, and while they don’t dance, they need to know what to do and when.

They’ve fans now, which is incredible, but also a bit daunting. Liam’s used to people not noticing him, and now he gets letters sent to him from people that want to touch him to see if he’s their soulmate. A whole bunch of people seem to think that, and Liam deleted every single message at once. 

The rest he answers politely. Except for a few rather crude ones that make him close the window on his phone, cheeks hot. 

“Louis,” Liam says tiredly as Louis walks into the room, not rushed at all as Liam would be if he were half an hour late. “Where have you been?”

Sometimes he thinks he sounds as if he were Louis’ mum. Always asking _where_ he’s been, _what_ he’s done, _why_ he’s done it, and so on. At least, it’s that kind of question his mum asks him, and more often his sisters when they lived at home. Liam’s always been the one that’s caused the least problems. 

Unlike Louis. 

At least, he doesn’t have to spend every hour of the day with Louis, now that they don’t live at the judge’s house anymore. The television company has put them at a hotel; it’s clean – almost clinically so – and Liam misses him mum something terrible. 

It’s quiet too, no more of Louis’ snoring underneath him in bed. It’s weird that Liam can’t sleep better than he does, but he blames that on nerves. 

He spends more time at Niall’s and Harry’s home than at the hotel. Though, that means he also sees Louis more than he really has to. It’s just that it’s nice to be in a proper home. The rest of the competitors are nice, but they’re not quite like Niall. 

“Aw, have you missed me, Liam?” Louis teases and Liam blushes even though he wills himself not to. 

Liam shakes his head. Right now, he’s mostly annoyed with Louis, and he would happily switch him for anyone else in the competition. No matter if they’re not half as good.

“You know this is important,” Liam grumbles, arms crossed over his chest. He doesn’t want to fight in front of their coach. In front of anyone really. But Louis seems to avoid him unless he’s teasing or pulling pranks on him, and Liam needs to say something. 

“You’ve missed me,” Louis laughs, even though that’s nothing at all what Liam said. 

“No,” Liam dismisses, though he’s waited for Louis. It’s been a bit boring maybe.

Louis rolls his eyes and reaches out to pinch one of Liam’s nipples, fingers sharp and quick. 

Louis touches him a lot – nothing inappropriate, not even skin on skin, but it still makes Liam blush. He feels like he’s constantly frowning or blushing around Louis, sometimes both at the same time. Like now.

“Louis,” Liam scolds, rubbing his hand over his chest. _Why does Louis do what all the time?_ Liam wants to reach out and catch Louis’ hand in a tight grip – but that would mean that they’d hold hands, and that would be bad for several reasons. 

“Of course, I know it’s fucking _important_ ,” Louis says in a low voice, and Liam stops and really looks at him. It seems like he means it, but Liam needs him to show that he wants it as much as Liam does. 

He needs Louis to give it his all. Liam knows that Louis’ best would be more than good enough. What he does now, it just makes Liam feel a lot older than he really is. 

“From the top, guys,” their coach says, for sure happy to finally being able to start. Liam understands him. 

– – –

It’s a live show night, and this will be their last. Except for the finale but Liam can’t think about that. Then he’ll probably be sick right there on the stage – on live television in front of the British people, and the judges who have so much to do with his future. They’ve made it through week after week, and now it’s just them, Little Mix and, of course, Niall. 

Niall, who takes Louis’ hand, and for some reason Liam can’t understand when they’ve not touched once during all weeks; Louis takes Liam's hand with the one that's still free. 

Liam doesn’t see it coming, too focused on the results. So, when he feels the clamminess of Louis’ hand grips his, it’s too late to pull away. The strange feeling in his whole body is instant, and Liam knows just what it is though he’s never felt a thing like it before. He’s suddenly too hot in his checkered shirt like he’s got a fewer. Then the warm rush is over, and he’s tingling from head to toe – a bit like he felt when he was drunk.

He’s not had a drop of alcohol, though. 

“Fuck,” Louis mumbles, his hand letting go of Liam’s at once. Like he’s been electrocuted. Like Liam _hurt_ him. 

It just makes it worse, if Louis hadn’t noticed, then they wouldn't be soulmates. Then it’d just be a weird fluke that he felt like that – call it a crush on Louis or whatever, even Liam can admit that he’s very pretty. 

Very, very pretty.

“Niall, I’m sorry, but you’re not going further in this competition,” Simon says, and Liam hears what he says, but he’s not reacting like he knows he should. He just stands there and waits for things to make sense. 

Niall’s obvious to their shock, and hugs them both though he must be upset to be sent home. Liam knows he never expected to go this far. But as weeks passed, Niall started to believe more and more in Harry’s confident in him. 

Now it’s just them and the girls left in the competition, and Liam smiles at the camera since he knows that’s expected. He feels like breaking down.

The buzz in his body makes it hard to listen, to concentrate, and Liam knows he should react more to the news that they’ve advanced once again. He can’t stop thinking about what this means for him and Louis. 

In a way, he feels joyously happy, like he wants to tell everyone. The whole world. But that’s just some strange chemical thing happening in his brain, he’s sure. 

Louis seems to feel the same as he ignores him completely. 

Louis disappears as soon as they’re off the stage, and Liam feels lost and alone. More alone than ever though he’s got both family and friends there. 

He won’t look for Louis; it’s obvious he’s pissed. And Liam must be the last person on earth he’d want to see right now. 

It’s probably best they give each other space. Liam tries to tell himself that it’s what he’d wanted to do before this mess of their soulbond happened. 


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning Liam wakes up alone in his hotel bed. That’s not something that’s out of the ordinary; he always sleeps alone. 

It’s just that it feels different today. As if he’s missing something. 

He knows that it’s _Louis_ he’s missing, but it’s hard to understand.

It’s not like he’s got a mark on his skin, or a paper that states that he and Louis are supposed to be together. In a romantic way. Forever.

They’ll probably feel okay even if they never touch each other _that_ way, even though Liam’s never heard of soulmates not being together. But maybe they don’t talk about it because it’s not the norm so what does Liam really know. 

Nothing, it feels like. 

Being near each other would probably stop the aching feeling in his stomach. The one that makes it hard to sleep or concentrate. 

He puts on the telly and stays in bed the whole morning. He should go to the gym, do something except half-watch bad daytime soaps while thinking of Louis, but he can’t find the energy. 

It could be that he’s drained of energy after the show the night before, but it could also be the distance to Louis that does it. Liam’s heard that it’s worse if you're apart at first, that the body thinks the bond is being rejected. 

In this case, it’s true. Louis has rejected him, and though Liam’s not fully accepting it either, that feels horrible. 

He doesn’t hear a word from Louis the whole day, and when Niall calls him, Liam says that he’s too tired to do something. That he needs to rest. If Louis doesn’t want to see him, Liam doesn’t want to see him either. 

It works for two days, but then it’s time to start rehearsing for the finale. Liam’s almost forgotten about that because of the stress caused by the soulbond with Louis. It’s not like he can’t skip the show, not even to avoid the awkwardness of seeing Louis again. 

They have practice to do, and it’s more important than ever. Liam’s not sure what will happen after the weekend when it’s all done, but this feels like an ends to something big.

What will happen to his and Louis duo is quite evident to him. No matter that he and Louis are soulmates, they won’t be able to keep it up if they can’t even see each other. It’s a shame when they’ve finally started to sound really great. 

They’re a team, a duo, and that’s the way the British public know them. It’ll be harder to start over as a solo artist now; everyone will wonder what happened to them, why they’re not together anymore. 

If only the public knew _just_ how much of a team they really are. The tabloids would surely be full of scandalous headlines about them. Or, it’d be all lovey dovey, nothing like the truth that both of them tried to avoid it even happening. 

Liam will have to pull himself together and see Louis at some point. It might as well be now. He’s already started to feel bad, tired and restless at the same time. He’s paler than he was before, and he’s got a headache that won’t go away no matter what pills he takes. 

It can’t go on like this. What’s worse is that he can’t stop thinking of how Louis is doing. He must feel the same way, and Liam thinks that’s _worse_ somehow. He can’t bare the thought that Louis is poorly, especially not when it’s because of him. 

Liam’s is in good time to the set, and he looks around to see if Louis is there, not sure if he wants him to be. 

It’s unlikely that Louis would there anyway. It’s not like Louis is ever on time. And maybe Liam’s started to know him better; he now knows what to expect from Louis. 

Niall’s the first one he meets, except for a few camera men he recognises. Niall goes from smiling sunnily to looking properly worried when he spots him. 

Liam hoped that nobody would notice anything off about him, but Niall’s smarter than that. He sighs and goes to give Niall a hug, leaning harder on Niall than he usually does. He’s a lump in Niall’s arms, eyes closed as if he were about to go to sleep. 

“You do look like shit, mate,” Niall says, worried. Ignoring that Liam might be contagious – Liam doesn't know if Niall knows, he’s not told him and he doubts that Louis has. “You know what it is?”

It feels like Louis is ashamed to be bonded to him, as if he doesn’t want anything to do with Liam. _But why would that change now?_

Liam sighs and shakes his head. He doesn’t feel like talking right now. Niall’s warm like a nice blanket. 

“Must be something in the air,” Niall says, one of his hands rubbing up and down Liam’s back. “Louis has been demanding tea and cuddles all weekend.”

Liam’s not surprised that Louis has felt bad too, but doesn’t say anything about it to Niall. It doesn’t feel like it’s his thing to reveal Louis’ secret. 

“Still planning to be a part of their threesome, I see.” Louis’ voice is sharp, and it causes Liam to jump and pull away from Niall. He feels weirdly guilty. 

“Think we need to talk,” Louis says, his eyes never leaving Liam’s face. “About the show,” he adds as an afterthought, to cover up the weirdness between them probably. 

Liam nods and follows Liam into an empty dressing room, and closes the door behind them. It seems like Louis is ready to talk now. 

He stands in the middle of the room, careful to keep distance to Louis. It’s not like things could get even worse, if they touched again, but Louis’ body language tells Liam to stay away. 

“So,” Louis says, arms crossed over his chest a clear sign that he doesn’t want Liam to come closer. “What are we going to do about this?”

He doesn’t say more, maybe in case somebody would hear. But Liam knows what he’s talking about. “Think there’s nothing to do.” 

Everybody knows that. It’s done, nothing to do now to get things back to _normal_. Louis must know it too, but he’s stubborn so maybe he’ll want to try some untried solution to this. Liam might not have wanted it fromthe start, but he doesn’t want to risk his life to get rid of it. 

It’s not _that_ bad. 

“Don’t be dumb,” Louis mutters, and rolls his eyes. Liam thinks it’s unnecessary, he’s not done anything. Louis was the one who touched _him_ , not the other way around. If anyone, Liam is the one that should be upset by this whole thing. 

And Liam’s not angry with Louis for taking his hand, weirdly enough he feels kind of calm right now. Which might be because he’s with Louis, and his headache has miracly gone away? He can see that Louis is pale too, and Liam doesn’t like to think that he’s slept as badly as Liam has done. 

But understand why Louis is frustrated so he doesn’t answer Louis try to pick a fight.

Maybe it would be easier to fight about it, but Liam doesn’t want to. Then Liam could blame this all on Louis though it really isn’t Louis’ fault. It’s just the way it is, and it’s something they have to live with. For the rest of their lives. 

Liam shrugs and puts his hands in his front pockets. “I just mean that we have to deal with it. We could just be as we are now, it’s not like we need to,” he trails off and fights a blush. He won’t think about Louis like that – it was okay before, but it’s not anymore. 

He wants to keep this as clean as possible, and sex would only mess things up even more. 

“We don’t have to _fuck_ , you mean,” Louis says crudely, but that’s just what Liam meant. 

“No, we don’t,” Liam says and straightens his back. He’s not done anything wrong; he just tries to do what’s best for them both. For them to be friends would make everything easier, and Liam really thought that they were on a friendly basis by now. With a little tiff between then every now and then. 

“I already know that you don’t want us to fuck,” Louis says, irritated. “It’s not like this really changes anything.”

Liam tries to understand Louis, but he’s lost so many times when it comes to him. Right now is one of those times. Maybe it doesn’t matter since things won’t change between them anyway. 

“We’ll see each other plenty as it is after this,” Liam says and gives Louis as a timid smile. “I mean, you live with Niall and Harry, and I’m there a lot.” He likes to think that the friends he’s made in the competition are for his life after it, too. 

Louis is forever now too, it seems. Though it’s not really their choice, is it? 

Louis huffs out a laugh and bites his lip as if to quiet himself. Liam’s never seen him do that before.

“You know you can’t fuck anyone else now?” Louis asks, and Liam’s not about to tell Louis that he’s a virgin so he just shrugs. 

It’s a known fact that you’re not supposed to sleep with anyone else, that it makes your soulmate feel sick. It’s not even supposed to be good with someone else, so it’s not even worth it if you should want to hurt your soulmate for some reason.

“It goes both ways, Liam says.

Louis is probably more bothered about that than Liam is, Liam reckons. Liam’s managed with his hand so far, it’ll be no difference now. 

“I’ll manage.” Louis lets his arms drop to his sides, and makes a rather crude hand gesture. 

It seems like they do think alike after all, and Liam can’t stop the giggles that bubbles out of his mouth. 

Here they are, talking about wanking – or it’s heavily hinted at. Louis smirks and looks cockier than before, more like Liam’s used to him looking. It’s a relief; Louis looking like before, bothered and unsure, made Liam ache to reach out and pull him into a hug. 

“Maybe you should move in with us,” Louis suggests, and Liam stops giggling. He feels a lot soberer when they’re talking proper details. It’s strange that Louis is the one who makes it happen since he just has ignored Liam for days. “You live too far away. Can’t keep going back and forth, it’ll look weird.”

“You don’t think Niall and Harry would find that odd?” Liam asks, not denying that it’d be kind of nice. “That you suggest that kind of thing, you don’t even like me.”

Louis’ eyes widen, and he looks almost ashamed for a second. Then he huffs and says. “I do not unlike you. Not sure where you got that dumb idea.”

“Maybe because you call my ideas dumb,” Liam says slowly, and Louis actually laughs and shakes his head. Liam did not expect that. 

“Maybe we should go and do what we should do,” Louis says as he brushes past Liam; actually so close that Liam has to fight off the urge to step back. So used to always doing it. “Not to be a stickler for rules, but we do have practice. I’ve been told it’s important stuff.”

Liam remembers first when they’re busy with the their choreographer that he never answered Louis about whether he should move in or not. 

– – –

It’s not perfect after their talk. Louis is hot or cold with him, either he’s joking with Liam, or he’s ignoring him altogether. 

It makes Liam confused, and he can’t stop himself pulling away when Louis tries to pinch his nipple at the end of the day, as if he were about to get hit. 

“Stop it,” he grumbles, not sure why he’s upset. “We’ve things we need to focus on.” Now that they’re so far on in the competition, they need to do two routines, but really, Liam’s not really as concerned as he should be. 

He just feels off. He wants Louis’ attention, any way he can get it, and that makes him feel restless. When he gets it, he feels like he’s everything to Louis. Even now, he wants to have it – even though if it’s Louis doing things to him that kind of hurts. 

When Louis acts like Liam’s not in the room, Liam wants to poke at him until he pays attention to him again. He’s not like that as a person, though. 

Louis frowns, muttering something to himself. He doesn’t try to touch Liam again. Which bothers Liam far more than it should do – Liam’s grown used to Niall touching him, and Harry too, but he never thought he would get used to Louis’ sharp fingers on his nipples. 

Liam’s not sure how to get Louis to relax again. It’s a first he’s wanted Louis to relax, especially on set, but Liam hates that he’s the one that made Louis look so stiff – cold almost – again. 

When Louis walks away to talk to Niall, he doesn’t look over at Liam. While Liam can’t look away, it feels like. He’s not sure if he’s acted like this before since nobody is looking at him strangely. 

_Has he been staring at Louis before?_ Honestly, Liam can’t tell if he’s been drawn to Louis from the beginning. If it’s a part of the whole soulbond situation, or if it’s just because Louis is that kind of person that everybody looks at, just because he’s there.

Louis doesn’t come over and talk to him before they leave, doesn’t ask Liam about if he’s going to come home with them. So Liam reckons the offer to stay with them wasn’t that serious. 

It’ll make everything more difficult, but Liam will manage. 

– – –

During the coming days, they spend the time that is needed together to avoid the side effects. It’s just enough for Liam not to get achy with longing after Louis – which is ridiculous since he’s never pined after anyone in his life. 

It’s worst, in the beginning, he’s heard. It’s like a honeymoon phase, only weirder 

He might have thought a lot about Louis before this, but now it’s like Louis is _all_ he can think of. Liam hopes that it’ll calm down with time, that this is just a phase, an extra amount of hormones in his body or something. 

Louis is the first thing he thinks about when he wakes up, and the last. The strange thing is that he can’t will himself to be more worried about it than he is. 

Liam still spends his nights at the hotel. At least, the first three. On Thursday, Niall literary drags Liam home with him, a tight grip around Liam’s wrist as if he would try to sneak off otherwise. 

“But,” Liam says weakly. He’s got no real reason to say no. That he’s ignoring Louis is not a not something that’s a reasonable excuse. 

“No excuses,” Niall says, his tone leaving room for arguments. Liam’s not seen this side of him before. He gives up. 

As Liam enter the flat, Niall shouts, “I’ve brought Liam with me, time for a boy’s night in, I say.”

“Good work, babe,” Harry says as he walks into the hall, and gives Niall a peck on the lips. Then he gives Liam’s cheek a quick peck, too, and Liam smiles before pushing him away playfully. 

“Keep your mouth to yourself,” Liam says jokingly. “I think I know where it’s been.”

“Oh,” Louis says from the door to the living room, “you’ve changed your mind about the threesome then.” Liam can’t read his tone. 

_Can’t really do that even if I wanted to_ , Liam doesn’t say. Louis knows it anyway.

“Don’t want these idiots,” Liam says, and Harry mutters out an affronted _‘hey’_ that he ignores. His stomach feels warm and bubbly when Louis smiles, obviously delighted. 

“I know it wasn’t too late to corrupt you,” he says, all fake evilness. He even rubs his fingertips together. 

Louis confuses him, but Liam can’t stop himself from wanting more of this side of Louis. The playful one that seems to like him. 

“I hope you like Die Hard,” Louis says, and Liam nods. It’s not his favourite film, but right now he’s just happy to ignore this week's awkwardness between him and Louis. 

He just needs one normal night. 

Liam ends up in one corner of the sofa, with Louis’ thigh warm against his. “Can’t sit close to Niall when he’s got Harry all over him, can I?” Louis says to him as an explanation, probably because Liam’s stuck between Louis and the armrest. 

He can’t move away, but for once, he doesn’t even want to. 

Two beers in, Niall and Harry excuse themselves to go to the kitchen to get more beers. Louis snorts and looks doubtful, and Liam giggles. He’s only had one beer, but he’s a little affected anyway. 

He’s not used to drinking. So he should probably not drink more for many reasons. One is that Louis keeps smiling at him, and Liam feels weird, he’s not sure what more beer would do to him. 

Harry and Niall take too long in the kitchen, but Liam won’t go in there to see why it takes such a long time. Liam thinks he knows, and he doesn’t need to see Harry and Niall do whatever they do. 

He gives Louis his mostly full bottle. He won’t drink more anyway. “Here,” he says, feeling shy suddenly. Louis’ leg is right there when he looks down, and Liam’s not sure where he should put his hand now that he’s not holding anything. 

“I don’t hate you,” Louis says quietly, as if it’s a secret. “I know I’ve been a shit, and I’m sorry.”

It was the last thing Liam expected Louis to say, and at first he just blinks slowly as he tries to sort it out in his head. Louis is sorry, and admits to it without any prompting. 

“You’ve nothing to be sorry about,” he says even though Louis has been shit at some points in the competition. Liam’s not been the easiest one to deal with either. 

Louis rolls his eyes. “Don’t be nice _now_ , Liam.”

“I’m sorry?” Liam asks; he’s been taught that niceness is a good thing. Louis has told him not to say sorry as much anymore, though. 

Louis gives him a _look_ and Liam shrugs. _What’s he supposed to do? Say sorry for being sorry?_

“I know you didn’t want this either,” Louis says, and Liam can’t deny it so he stays quiet.

“My dad left us.” Louis’ voice is tense, and he picks at the label on the beer bottle. “ Mum wasn’t his soulmate, and you know how it is.”

Liam nods. He can understand why Louis doesn't look at soulbonds with the same kind of excitement that most people does. Slowly, careful not to spook Louis, who seems so in his own head, Liam places his hand on Louis’ knee, just to show that he’s there.

“It’s shit that he didn’t care about you,” Liam says gently and rubs his thumb back and forth.

Louis huffs and makes a grimace, looking pained even though he tries to put on a smile. “Well, he’s a prick.”

“Yeah,” Liam agrees, because what else is there to say. It is _true_ , after all.

“You’re sort of all right, though,” Louis says with a small shrug. He doesn’t move away from Liam’s hand so Liam keeps it there.

It’s nice to finally touch someone, and for the rest of the lads, it would not be weird. For him it’s both new and strange.

“High praise,” he grins, trying to keep a frown on his face. It’s hard to manage, and he probably fails badly.

“Don’t expect too much,” Louis says, and Liam thinks that he’ll have to remember that. It’s good advice in a situation like this.

 _Not_ that he wants more. This is a lot more than he expected in the first place.

There’s a loud noise in the kitchen, and Liam lets out a giggle. Louis looks amused too, wrinkling his nose as he shouts at them to, “keep it down”.

It only makes Liam giggle harder.

“So what did we miss?” Harry asks as he and Niall come back, hand in hand, his hair a mess. 

“Half the fucking film,” Louis says and takes a long chug of his beer. “Not that you mind, you animals.”

Niall doesn’t even look the tiniest bit ashamed. “No, would not say that.”

Harry looks too proud for Liam not to laugh. Harry and Niall both look so happy, and being around them makes it easier to know that he’s bonded to Louis. That he has a soulmate.

Not that he ever thinks that they will be like Harry and Niall. 

Liam clears his throat. Such a weird thing to think. “We could watch the second one?” 

“Yeah,” Louis agrees, the tension from before gone from his voice. “Put it in, Neil.”

Niall takes up a pillow, purple just like the sofa, and tosses it at Louis. He does put on the next film, though. 

– – –

They’ve given their all, and now it’s just Louis, Liam and the girls from Little Mix standing on stage. Liam can feel the cameras on him, and he knows that many people are watching at home in their sofas. 

He’s never been so nervous in his whole life, and he can’t stand still. His hands are shaking, and he curls them into tight fists to stop himself from pulling at his curls or plucking at his jeans. 

Then Louis takes his hand. “It’ll be okay,” he says quietly, leaning close to him so they’re cheek to cheek. 

There are screams from the public, and Liam squeezes Louis’ fingers. Both their palms are clammy and warm, but Liam finds comfort in it. 

The judges are letting them wait, and Liam thinks it’s the longest minutes in his life. Louis shifts closer to him, and Liam turns to give him a wobbly smile. For once, he feels like they’re a duo, not two solo artists who’ve been forced together. It’s a shame it’s their last time on this stage, even though it’s nice that it’s over, too. 

“And the winner is,” Simon says, with yet another wait before he adds, “Little Mix.”

The girls scream, voices full of joy. And Liam continues to smile stiffly, sure he looks pained. He wants off the stage, but he needs to be a good loser and hug the girls first. 

“Fuck,” Louis says belatedly as if it took the confetti from the roof, and people joining the stage for Louis to snap out of his head. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“Yeah,” Liam agrees, ending up mumbling it into Louis’ neck as he’s pulled into a tight hug. Louis is clinging to him, but he’s holding on just as hard. 

When they leave the stage, the gold confetti is still raining down on Little Mix. 

Liam wants to lock himself in the bathroom, but Louis won’t let him go, a tight grip around his fingers. They’ve been holding hands for a long time, and Liam thinks about pulling away, but it feels like he can allow himself to pretend that it’s fine, at least right now. 

He might break down when he meets his mum, who for sure will be there any second to hug him. 

“We did good,” Louis murmurs softly as if he’s trying to comfort Liam when he should be just as upset himself. “Things will work out.”

Liam’s not so sure, but he nods and smiles weakly at Louis. He doesn’t know that things will be okay. He doesn’t know what will happen with him and Louis, not with their soulbond, and nor with their music career. They didn’t win. And though they did good – second place is a lot further than Liam would have dared to hope when he was paired with Louis – he’s not sure it’s enough to be something to build on. 

If Louis even wants to continue to try. 

Though, it might be okay; Louis seems to think so right now. 

Later that night, he takes the drink Louis offers him. It’s not like things can get any more out of control that they already are. 


	5. Chapter 5

Monday morning after the finale, Liam is back in Wolverhampton.

He’s not wallowing in the feeling of having lost anymore. The sadness he felt over not winning -- which he honestly had not expected from the start, it was just something he wanted so badly it almost hurt -- is replaced by purposefulness. He’s going to take what he’s learned on the show and make something good out of it.

He’s a better artist, his name is out there, and he’s got Louis. Maybe. 

_Hopefully_.

At least, they’ll stay a group for a bit longer, at least until the X Factor tour is over. Then Liam’s not sure what will happen with One Direction. A weird name for two people that couldn't get along, but Louis insisted, and Liam gave in when he couldn’t think of anything better.

The name makes more sense now. But he thinks that Louis thought them matching was as unlikely as Liam did, up until he felt that spark when Louis touched him. 

They’ve not talked since the party after the show. And Liam knows they will have to, but he’s scared to take the first step even though it’s unlikely that he’ll get rejected.

Liam’s already started to feel slightly ill. His mum thinks he’s about to get a cold, only without the sniffles and sore throat. His mum would want to meet Louis and then she would start talking about the forever kind of love, and grandkids. And Louis doesn't want that.

Liam doesn’t want that even though some part of it’s started to make sense. Not the grandkids; he’s only eighteen after all. But to never be alone feels more and more tempting.

Liam’s been by himself plenty of times in his pretty short life, but he’s never felt this lonely before. He misses Louis moe than he thought he would. 

That’s why he tries to keep himself busy, helping his mum around the house. That way it’s easier not to spend time sighing over how much he misses Louis.

He misses Niall and Harry too, but Louis is different. Louis is his soulmate, and Liam knows that’s a part of it. But Louis is also _Louis_ , and Liam’s started to think that might be enough.

Everybody’s pulled to Louis; it’s not just him. He’s attention grabbing, and Liam might have hated him -- no, not really, he was irritated and had a hard time understanding Louis. But even then he had a hard time ignoring Louis. 

It’s not like he expects them to be best mates from this point. But he reckons that he can relate to Louis now -- why he didn’t want a soulmate, and why he loves his family so much.

Even Liam thought he was cute with his sisters when their relationships was a mess. Well, a different kind of mess than it is now.

What they have now, is a confusing, at times tiring situation, but at least it feels like he and Louis are working in the same direction. They’re going to be friends and try to make the best of it all.

It feels awful to be lying to his mum, but if he and Louis really were dating, it would be a different story. Then he’d be proud of Louis, and take him home to meet her over tea.

He can almost picture Louis in their homey kitchen, smiling without realising it. Then he shakes his head and goes back to the washing the plates from dinner with his mum and dad.

He’s wet almost up to his elbows in dishwater, too much dish soap, causing suds to cling to his skin when he pulls up his hands.

His phone makes a sound, and he can feel the vibrate against his thigh. It’s probably Niall, and it could _probably_ wait, but he wipes his hands dry on a towel. 

It’s not from Niall. 

It simply reads, ‘ _Bring your bags’_. Liam blinks down at it, confused. It’s an unknown number, and while Liam’s sort of famous now, his number is luckily still unknown.

Before he can send a polite question back, asking who it is, and what they want, his phone buzzes again.

 _‘This is Louis btw’_. After it comes three emojis, the monkeys covering their eyes, ears and mouth. That clarifies some things, like who it’s from, but he’s still confused. 

Liam starts three texts, deleting them all. Then he sits down on a kitchen chair and frowns at his phone. It’s never been this hard to type a simple text.

He tries once more, hitting a hopefully playful tone. Louis would like that, he’s sure, though he’s not sure why he wants to please Louis.

 _‘Is it time for our visit already’,_ he writes with a winking emoji at the end. He fails the humour thing that Louis is so good at, but he can’t think of anything.

It’s hard to make fun of their soulbond without being mean when their relationship is still at the beginning of something. It feels fragile, and Liam doesn’t want to damage it. 

Liam counts the ticking of the wall clock, his foot bouncing along with it. A nervous habit he can’t stop.

It’s not long at all before his phone rings, the loud shrill of his ringtone causing his fingers to fumble with his phone. It’s close that he drops it, and his heart's still beating hard when he answers with a questioning, “Yeah?”

He didn’t even check to see who it was, so he pulls the phone from his ear to see the same unknown number. 

“Hi Louis,” he says sheepishly, happy that his mum’s not nearby. She would ask a million question; she’s been properly introduced to Niall and Harry, but not Louis. 

“Liam,” Louis says, and Liam’s stomach does a weird, warm flip that’s totally unexpected. Must the soulbond that acts up now that they’ve been apart two whole days. 

Liam nods and flushes when he realises that Louis can’t see him. It seems like Louis doesn’t even have to be in the same room to make him near constant hot pink. “Yeah?” he wonders; Louis is the one who called, so he must want something important. 

They’ve already tried texting, but Louis seems not happy with that since he spends time calling Liam. 

“So,” Louis says, “What did you mean with your text?”

“Um,” Liam mumbles, plucking at the worn fabric of his grey joggers. “That we should meet because of the --” he doesn’t end the sentence, too afraid his mum would hear. 

Louis is quiet on the other end for too long. His huffed out little breath as he takes in what Liam said, is a sure sign that Liam said something wrong. If only Liam knew _what_ , then he could make it all better. 

“Liam,” Louis says tiredly, and Liam can almost see him pinch his nose between his fingertips. 

Liam feels like hanging up, but waits for Louis to says more. Louis always had got more to say than this, even from the beginning when all he did was to tease Liam. Liam wonders how a short text came to this; he should just have packed his bag -- it’s what he’s going to have to do in the end anyway. 

Two or three more days, and then Liam will be too tired to fool his mum into thinking there’s nothing wrong with him. 

“Didn’t we decide that you should move in with us,” Louis says, though it feels like it should be a question. This is a statement; something Liam should just agree with. 

“Um,” Liam says slowly. He thought Louis had forgotten about that. “I’m pretty sure we _didn’t_ agree on anything.” What Liam remembers is them ending that conversation without anything decided. 

It was really weird between them that day. 

“Then we should decide it right now,” Louis tells him, and Liam’s confused about how much he wants just to say _yes_ , and then pack his bag at once. Take the first possible train. 

It shouldn’t be so easy to leave his childhood home, and the town he’s grown up in. They’ll be on tour in a few weeks, and have rehearsal in between too, but this will be leaving things he’s used to. Some things have been pretty shit, but everything is familiar. 

“You sure it’s a good idea?” Liam stands up, and walks over to the sink. The water will be lukewarm before he’s done if he keeps questioning things instead of just going with it all. The conversation feels more important than dishwater, though. 

Louis snorts and is probably also rolling his eyes. Liam feels like he must be. “I think that you fainting because you miss me is a bad idea. Can’t have that, can we?”

“Why am I the one that’s going to faint?” Liam wonders, and takes out the plug in the sink. He might as well start over later -- his mum’s just grateful that he helps out, she won't’ complain. He’s smiling though Louis can’t see him, as he moves into the living room to sinks down on the sofa, and curls his legs underneath himself. 

“Because I’m lovely and wonderful,” Louis tuts, and Liam laughs and shakes his head. It feels like they’re flirting, maybe, and the thought makes Liam stare straight in front himself, at the switched off telly. 

No, _no_ they’re not doing that. Liam’s only reading things into Louis being friendly. 

“Fine,” Liam blurts out. “You’re right. 

“You should say that I’m right more often,” Louis says happily, and Liam giggles and hides his face behind his hand even though he’s alone and nobody is there to see him blush. 

Liam talks to Louis until his mum comes and asks him why there are still things unwashed in the sink.

His mum understands when he tells her about his plans, though he say it’s for the sake of career reasons, not being near Louis. She’s happy even though she’s teary-eyed, and Liam knows she’ll always be his home no matter where he is in the world. She’s been his safe place when things have been bad for him, and in a way, he wishes that he could tell everything about Louis. 

Not that there is much to tell.

\-- -- --

Niall and Louis picked him up at the station and walked with him home. It’s _his_ home now, too. He’ll soon start paying rent, and get his post sent there. While they’ve talked about lots of things, they seem to have forgotten one thing. 

One pretty important detail. 

Liam’s got nowhere to sleep except for the purple sofa and while it’s nice, it’s not something permanent. The flat consists of the living room, the kitchen, a bathroom and two bedrooms. One that Harry and Niall share, and of course, Louis’ room. 

He doesn’t want to sound ungrateful, but he’ll have to say something even though they’ll all stumble over him if he sleeps in the middle of the living room. It’s the centre of the flat, and you’ve got to go through there if you want to go from the hall or kitchen, into the bedrooms. 

“Um,” Liam says, and he drops his last bag next to the sofa. He’s only brought what he could get with him on the train and then the tube -- he didn't want his parents to spend time and money on driving him. 

If this works, they’ll rent a car and drive down. Louis has promised to help since Liam still doesn’t have his license. 

Harry pats him on the back as he drags him into a warm hug, his curls tickling Liam’s face. 

“Don’t suffocate Liam, Harry,” Louis laughs, and smiles at Liam over Harry’s shoulder as he sits down on the sofa. 

“My hugs are _lovely_ ,” Harry says, shrugging as he takes a step back and pouts at Louis. 

“Where am I going to sleep?” Liam asks, knowing that Harry and Louis are going to start a proper banter any second. 

“Right,” Louis says slowly, eyes widening enough for Liam to know that he wasn’t the only one that forgot. “Ops. We’re the worst, it seems.” He kicks out a Niall, only poking him in the thigh with his toe. “Why didn’t you think about this?”

“Me?” Niall asks, lifting his brows. “It was your idea. Not that it wasn’t a lovely idea, mind you!”

“We love to have you here,” Harry agrees, nodding. He looks guilty, his forehead pinched, and it was just that Liam wanted to avoid. 

The sofa is good enough for him. At least, until he finds something better nearby. It’ll probably be awhile since he’s not loaded and can buy himself a flat in London, and he reckons the waiting time to rent one is super long. 

His skin is tingling just being near Louis, and it makes it harder to look directly at Louis. A warm feeling like when you’re blowing hot air on cold skin. 

“It’s fine,” Liam says, giving Harry a reassuring smile. He doesn’t mind that much anyway, and he most certainly doesn't want Harry or Niall to feel bad. They’re doing him a huge favour, though they’re not aware just _how_ big. “I can sleep here; it’s not a problem.”

He sits down on the sofa, now his bed. Louis is already sitting in the centre, and it’s almost like Liam’s bodily pulled towards him. He can’t explain it; one second he’s standing up, and then he’s next to Louis. Liam’s too close to him, he realises too late. He’s practically thigh to thigh with Louis, but it will only look weirder if he moves away. 

In a way, it feels right. He feels better and better the closer he gets to Louis. 

Then Louis’ leg presses against his as Louis shuffles down further, and spreads out more on the sofa. It’s like his body stops feeling so weird the second they touch, and he glances at Louis to see if it’s just him who noticed. Louis doesn’t say anything, but he looks relaxed and soft. 

Liam pokes at the sofa cushion, though he doesn’t stop looking at Louis. He probably should. 

“You’re not going to sleep on the sofa.” Louis sounds almost personally offended, and he crosses his arms, chest puffed out. “That’d be awful of us.”

“I’ve slept on it before,” Liam reminds him. “It wasn’t awful.”

“That was one fucking night,” Louis says, and when Liam opens his mouth to protest once more, tell him that it’s _fine_ , he adds, “You can sleep in my bed. It’s big enough for both of us.”

“But,” Liam starts, only to quiet when Louis frowns at him. Seems like Liam has a hard time saying no to him when he’s near pouting. Liam would hate to admit that out loud, it’s hard enough to do it to himself. 

Harry whispers something in Niall’s ear -- Liam suspects that there’s tongue involved in the whispering. It wouldn’t surprise him. They're awful like that. Wonderfully in love, and awful for those who’s not a part of their soulbond. It’s lucky Liam likes them so much. 

When Harry pulls away slightly, face not longer so close to Niall’s ear, Niall smiles as he looks at him

Niall takes Harry’s hand and links their fingers together. “Sounds like a good enough plan.”

Liam can’t find one good enough reason to tell Harry or Niall no. Maybe they should tell them the truth, but they would never understand properly when they’re the way they are. 

He takes a deep breath and gives Louis a searching look. He hopes that Louis understand what he offers, but Liam reckons he’ll push Liam out of bed if he’s snoring or kicks him in his sleep. It would be so like Louis. 

Though, he’d probably do something that less likely would harm Liam. Maybe hit him with his pillow, or poke him in his nose. And it’s Louis who’s snoring, at least after a few beers. But Liam might have other strange or annoying habits nobody’s told him about. 

“Great,” Harry murmurs, and tries to clap his hands together only to realise that one of them is linked with Niall’s. 

Louis laughs and shakes his head, and then it’s like the focus is switched away from the problem. And though they all seem to think it’s solved, Liam can’t quite stop thinking about it. 

Louis’ thigh pushes against his, warm and solid, and Liam’s whole body is humming. It’s ridiculous, and it makes it harder to follow when Harry starts telling him one of his stories. But it feels good, and Liam’s happy where he is.

It’ll be awkward to sleep with Louis -- _in_ Louis’ bed, but this Liam can get used to. 

\-- -- --

Louis is already in bed and Liam’s stalling. 

The room is a bit of a mess, but there’s not a lot of space since the bed really is big. They won’t have to touch, and they’ve even separate duvets and pillows. So it’s not like they’re going to cuddle or anything like that. 

Liam takes off his jeans and folds them, and then puts in on a chair in the corner. They will have to go to Ikea and shop, at least for some storage. Louis seems to think it’s fitting to put clothes in piles, but Liam thinks it’s nice to know where he’s got his things. 

He’s not good at all homey things, not when it comes to folding things properly -- he can never get those nice corners when he makes his bed either -- but he’s not a slob. Louis’ room makes him want to pick up things, but he’s pretty sure Louis likes it the way it is. 

Maybe Liam’s only trying to find something else to do except go to bed. 

Louis seems to be giving him space, thumbing through his Twitter as if knows that Liam finds this difficult. It’s pretty obvious, maybe, since he’s spent twice the time he usually does in the bathroom brushing his teeth. 

Now he just needs to get under the covers. It shouldn’t be this hard. While he can see Louis’ bare shoulders, and the full script of his ink on his chest, Louis is wearing boxers. He’s not naked. 

“Get in bed,” Louis mumbles, without lifting his eyes. As if he’s sparing Liam’s his modesty. “I’ve seen both Harry and Niall starkers and sat on the same sofa as Harry’s naked arse since he’s a bloody nudist. I think I’ll survive a night in bed with you in half your clothes.”

Liam wants to protest that he’s _not_ half naked. He’s wearing both boxers, and his shirt. Liam’s been in fewer clothes on the beach. Louis is right, though; he's silly. Louis won’t try to kiss him in the middle of the night, and probably not anything else either. 

Liam’s still working on getting used to the cheek kisses and the hugs; sleep cuddling makes him feel shy suddenly. Or if it’s Louis who makes him shy, he’s uncertain. 

He does as he’s told anyway, having agreed to just _this_ it would look strange to back out now. And he bets he will sleep lovely with Louis right there. He’s not slept right since he left him the last time. 

Having someone next to him is new, and he listens to Louis’ sleepy, deep breaths before he falls asleep. Maybe this closeness will make their bond even stronger. 

Liam can’t decide if it’s a bad thing, or not. 

\-- -- --

When he wakes up, Louis is spooning him; one warm hand sneaked up underneath Liam’s t-shirt. He’s too groggy and lazy to realise why he’s so warm yet still comfortable. They’ve a duvet between their hips and legs, but being so hot, it seems like Liam’s pushed it down enough to get Louis’ hands on him in his sleep. 

At least, he likes to think it’s the heat from Louis’s skin, and not how good it feels to actually have Louis touch him. It’s hard to leave, limbs still slow and heavy as he tries to get out of bed without waking Louis up. But he knows he has to.

Louis just flops over and grumbles something in his sleep. Liam sighs in relief when he closes the door carefully behind him, and goes to make himself a cup of tea. Maybe he’ll take a run afterwards to get rid of some of the restlessness in his body that started first when he got out of bed. 

While in bed, it felt like he could have spent hours just lying there, waking up slowly. It’s the soulbond that made him feel like that, it’s not a usual feeling for him. But it was a nice moment, he can admit that. 

He’s blushing even more around Louis, the rest of the day. But Louis seems to have missed that he cuddled him in his sleep, so Liam will pretend it’s never happened. 


	6. Chapter 6

Later that day, Louis throws himself down on the sofa next to Liam. “Did you see the schedule for the tour?” 

Liam nods, and puts his comic away when Louis bumps his ankle with his foot. “Yes, it looked good, I think?”

“We’re free for my birthday,” Louis says as he lies down, shuffling around until he’s got his head on Liam’s thighs. As if he were his pillow. Liam just blinks down at him, forgets that he should try to figure out what Louis _means_ with that. 

He’s gotten better at understanding Louis, but sometimes Louis still makes him confused.

“It’s at Christmas, right?” Liam asks, and Louis nods, beaming. 

“I thought that maybe you could visit me, at home. My mum’s house, I mean,” Louis says, and Liam just hums at first.

It’s really unexpected. If they wanted to, they could stay away from each for a few days. Their bond is not new anymore, and not as needy. If it came to it, they could visit each other a day that’s less for the family than someone’s birthday or Christmas Eve.

Only, Liam’s not sure _if_ he wants to not see Louis.

“Should we tell...” Liam pauses and makes a hand motion between them, knowing that Louis will understand. 

Louis shrugs. “If you want to.”

That’s not a _yes_ , but it’s not a _no_ either. Honestly, Liam’s not sure what he wants it to be, so he just nods. “I think that it’d be nice. Your mum is a lovely woman.”

It’s months away, and Liam’s surprised that Louis asks now already. Even more than that he asks at all, when he thinks about it.

“Put on the telly for me,” Louis says when he tries and fails to reach the remote. He could move, sit up and take it, but Liam quite likes him where he is, so he does what Louis asks. 

Liam feels like that’s started to be a thing. He does things just to make Louis happy. He’s not quite sure how to feel about that. 

Louis makes a grumpy sound when Liam moves to take the remote on the table, but settles back on Liam’s thighs as soon as he leans back on the sofa again. Liam thinks he can feel Louis nuzzle his cheek against his joggers, but that sounds like something Louis wouldn’t do. 

So, he ignores it and presses the on button. His free hand, he uses to push a strand of Louis’ unruly hair from his face. Just because Louis lets out a pleased little hum, he strokes his fingers through Louis’ hair once more. 

“Nice lad,” Louis murmurs, and Liam’s glad his attention is on the show -- Emmerdale, Liam thinks it is if all the times his mum’s watched it thought him anything -- and not on him. His smile must be ridiculous, and he’s not sure what Louis would think if he noticed. 

Maybe it’s only that he put on the right show that made Louis sound so relaxed and pleased, but Liam keeps his hand in Louis’ hair anyway. It’s a nice thing to do for someone, and Liam’s always liked to make people happy. 

Making Louis happy makes him feel warm and content, in a way he’s not used to, though. 

Louis is more or less asleep in his lap when the episode ends, and Liam chooses not to change the channel to something more interesting when the next show comes on. Something about antiques, something Liam can’t find any joy in watching. But moving would disturb Louis, so he’ll watch it anyway. 

It’s not until Harry comes home a little later, and he coos at them, only to tiptoe his way to the kitchen, that Liam realises that they’re almost cuddling again. This time, Louis was aware when it started, so it feels better. 

Well, if daytime cuddles are okay -- very nice and warm -- Liam guesses the nighttime cuddles are too. 

Even though they’re a bit more undressed then, and there’s the risk of possible awkward morning erections. Louis is a guy, though, so Liam hopes Louis won’t think that he wants Louis if… when that happens. 

\-- -- --

Liam’s at the flat with Louis, they have the same routines now so it most often ends up like that. Today it’s just the two of them again. While that would have been a bad thing in the beginning, Liam’s at this point almost happy that it’s just the two of them. 

Louis is his friend now, and while they’re not a couple, he’s Liam’s soulmate. 

Niall and Harry might be extra happy to have some alone time now that Liam’s there to _entertain_ Louis. That was Niall’s exact words when he left the flat earlier, and for some reason, that made Liam blush. 

For a couple that acts married, Harry and Niall always thought about not leaving Louis at home on his own. Just not to have him feel lonely. 

“Think they like that they don’t have to third wheel me on their dates anymore,” Louis says and puts his bare feet on the table.

Liam knows Harry and Niall well enough to know that’s just what they would do to a mate, no matter if that meant that said mate had to sit through romantic candle lit dinners with them. 

Louis shifts and looks thoughtfully at Liam’s lap, and then at the bag of Doritos in his hands. Then he gets this mischievous tilt to his smile, and just empties in Liam’s lap. Liam’s stunned, so much that he’s just staring when Louis plucks a snack from his crotch. 

“Louis,” Liam scolds playfully, but the smile on his face makes him seem happy with the attention more than anything. 

Louis just grabs another fistful and stuffs his mouth ful. His smile is crumbly and happy, and Liam shouldn’t let him use him as a bowl. But Louis looks so pleased, his smiles soft somehow, and Liam just sits there.

He can feel Louis’ hand through his joggers, and Liam’s cheeks feel warm. He still doesn’t shift away, doing his best to stay as still as possible. 

It’s a nice night. One that Liam wouldn’t mind repeating even though he needs to wash his joggers completely without any other reason than Louis being himself.

\-- -- --

They’re doing something of a little mingle, while Harry prepares the last of the meal. Some sort of pasta that smells delicious, and wine to it. A fancy brand Liam’s never had before. 

Liam’s talking to this guy Harry brought home with him. He’s tall and has a fluffy fringe and a loud laugh. His voice is very familiar, and Liam can’t figure it out. Then Nick tells him a story of when Harry was on his radio show. 

“Sod off,” Harry laughs, curling his arms around Niall’s waist when he’s done putting out the plates on the table. 

“Oh,” Liam says, wondering how he could have missed that. He’s listened to Nick’s show countless of times, and he likes it a lot. “You’re _that_ Nick.” _Did that come out weird?_ While Liam’s met some celebrities now, he’s not sure how to act around them. “I like your show, I mean.”

Of course, Harry’s going to have famous friends, being so famous himself. It’s just that Liam forgets that he’s not a normal bloke that works at a bakery or something. He’s just Harry to him, his roommate and friend.

“You’re sweet, Liam. We should put you on the radio; the listeners would love you.” Nick laughs and ruffles his hair. His curls seem to do that to people, and Liam barely reacts anymore.

Louis’ smile reminds Liam of how he looked at the beginning in the house. It’s not his real smile. “You wouldn’t forget about me, would you? Can’t have just one part of One Direction.”

Nick seems not to notice anything weird with Louis, but Liam notices the tone. He can’t quite read it; he’s never heard Louis sound like that. 

“Stop yammering and sit down,” Harry tells them fondly, and he waves them into the kitchen.

Louis is unusually quiet the whole night. And Liam lets himself be pulled into other conversations even though he wants to pull Louis aside and ask what’s wrong. Louis probably doesn't want to talk about it, and even less everybody so close.

When Nick’s gone home, Harry and Niall are quick to retreat to their room. It’s either the dish still dirty in the sink or the fact they’ve had their clothes on for a whole day that causes it. Liam’s not sure, but he’s happy to do the cleaning anyway. 

Louis helps. In his own way, by flicking Liam with the towel instead of drying the plates Liam’s washed. It’s almost normal, and Liam can almost forget how strange Louis acted before. 

It’s easier now that they’re alone. 

\-- -- -- 

“You liked Nick?” Louis asks, when Liam’s already in bed. Louis is the one that’s slow tonight; that takes his time to get undressed. 

Liam nods and smiles, it’s been a great evening. He’s full, glad he’s not wearing his nice jeans anymore, and he’s a bit tingly from the glass of wine he had.

Louis frowns and somehow manages to lie down grumpily; “You know you can’t do anything about it anyway,” he mutters, and curls up on his side facing Liam. 

“What?” Liam wonders, bewildered. Then he realises what Louis meant, and he feels weird knowing that Louis might be jealous of all things. He feels a need to reassure Louis. “I did not mean that I wanted to sleep with him.” The _silly_ is heavily implied in his tone. 

They both know what they are to each other, soulmates, and they’ve accepted it by now. 

“Good,” Louis says and pats Liam’s arm. He leaves it there; fingers curled around his bicep, and he’s still touching Liam when he starts to snore.

Liam’s not awake for long. It’s always easier to sleep when Louis is close, or even better, is touching him.

\-- -- -- 

It’s just an ordinary day, just like all the other mornings this week. 

They have a free day, between the rehearsals and the last bits of recording of their album. Niall and Harry are gods know where; they’ve one of their dates that involve a lot of planning from Harry.

Liam thinks it’s sweet, but he gets a bit lost when Harry excitedly tells him all about his _secret_ ’ plans.

Niall knows all about them, always does, but he plays along. It almost makes it even sweeter. Of course, Harry knows Niall well enough to _know_ that he knows.

The radio is on in the kitchen, and Louis is singing along to Rihanna's latest single. Liam’s just smiling at him, tapping his fingers on the kitchen table.

When the kettle is boiling, Louis makes their tea. He huffs and shakes his head, and if Liam didn’t know he’s joking, he’d felt bad about the distraught look on Louis’ face.

“Disgusting, is what it is,” he says, and Liam feels fonder than he thinks he should. It’s only tea. “What you do to your tea is a crime.”

Liam forgets to say thank you like he usually would. No matter that he’s lost count of the number of times Louis has done this for him. Struck silent by the realisation that he’s _in love_ with Louis.

It just sneaks up on him; one day, he sees Louis as his fit mate, who is also his soulmate. Someone that’s pretty awesome but still isn’t anyone he's going to date. Louis, who knows how he takes his tea, and while he teases Liam for the amount of sugar he puts in, Louis still makes it just right for him.

Sadly there is no dramatic, romantic kiss that makes him realise that he’s in love. That he actually loves Louis. Oh, how Liam wishes it was like that. He wants to kiss Louis as thanks for the tea, and then again just because. 

He knows now what the warm feeling in his body when he sees Louis is, it’s love. He’s probably been in love with him for awhile without realising it. 

He wants a lot of things from Louis that’s not something you do with you mate. No matter if they’re your soulmate. 

He wants all his firsts with Louis. He wants to wake up with him and go to bed with him just like today. But he also wants to touch Louis, all over, and in ways that make him a bit twitchy even just thinking of them. 

It’s not what they agreed on. Liam doesn’t want to ruin this good thing they have with his one-sided feelings. Liam _won’t_ do that. He’ll keep this to himself -- he gets to have Louis to himself in so many ways already, he can be happy anyway. 

He is happy.

“The tea that interesting?” Louis asks, and Liam looks up from his tea. It’s just luck that Liam was staring at that, and not Louis. 

That would have been a lot more obvious. _Oh god_ , Liam feels like going to bed and hide there forever -- his and Louis’ bed, so that wouldn’t help with his feelings. _How obvious has he been?_

Liam gives Louis a smile, his grip on the tea mug a bit too tight as he lifts it to his lips. “Just tired.”

He is tired, so it’s not a lie. He doesn’t want to tell Louis the truth, but he doesn’t want to lie to him either. They spent the night before marathon watching the Captain America movies, and Iron Man too since they’re Louis’ favourites. 

Louis snorts, and stops looking at Liam like that. Questioning. “With the amount of sugar you’ve put in your tea, you’re going to have a bloody sugar rush soon.”

“You mean the tea that _you_ made,” he says and takes a small sip of his tea. It’s hot, and just the way he wants it. Sweet. 

See, Liam can do normal. He’s going to get used to feeling like this around Louis, and then things will be better. If Louis only could stop being so lovely, it would be easier to ignore his feelings. 

“Semantics,” Louis huffs and crosses his arms over his chest. 

“Is that even a word,” he wonders. He wasn’t the best at school, and with his dream of making it in music. Or at least working with music somehow, words or number never were that important. 

“You’re lucky you’ve me,” Louis says, and Liam just manages not to nod. Louis is a menace, and Liam might love him, but if he admits to anything like that, Louis will never stop teasing him. 

Liam shrugs and hides his grin behind his tea mug. “Eh, could do better, I think.”

He’s pretty sure he couldn’t have done better. As much as he hates… _hated_ the idea of finding his soulmate, he can’t think of a life without Louis now. 

Silly as it sounds, it’s all right. Even with the unrequited feelings and how they still haven’t told anyone -- there really isn’t anything to tell -- it’s a lot nicer than Liam even would have thought.

\-- -- --

It’s a date night, Harry’s and Niall’s, that is. Louis and Liam have planned to stay at home, watching bad action movies on their sofa. They’ve been out all day, cycling on rented bikes with a stop at a kebab shop that Louis just had to show him. 

Liam’s too tired to do anything except laze around the flat the rest of the day. It’s quite nice to have Louis to himself, too. 

“Behave,” Niall says. First, he points at Louis, and then he turns his finger on Liam. Which is expected after the water fight, maybe, but it was _Louis_ who started it. 

“What?” Louis says, one hand over his heart as if he’s hurt by Niall implying them not behaving.

“Go on, you should go. Can’t miss the start of the movie,” Liam says and takes Louis’ hand to pull him back down on the sofa. He doesn’t let go off Louis, probably failing not to look stupidly besotted. He can’t even look at Louis without smiling. 

Louis seems luckily unaware of Liam’s feelings for him, but he can see how Harry and Niall look at each other, hand in hand. They might be a bit more aware.

They don’t say anything about it, and Liam’s grateful.

“Right,” Harry says cheerfully and gives them a floppy wave. “You really shouldn’t feel the need to behave, though. Do what you want.”

Liam widens his eyes at them, and maybe it’s that or the probably panicked look in them, that makes them not say more. Liam doesn’t need them to meddle in this, no matter how much they think they’re helping. 

Liam breathes out a sigh of relief when they do leave. Louis looks confused, but pokes him with his toes and demands, “Put the movie on, Liam. We can’t miss the beginning, can we?”

Liam snorts out a giggle. “Pretty sure that’s not a thing when it comes to our DVD-player.”

Louis pokes his again and Liam shifts away. If he starts giggling more because he’s ticklish, Louis won’t stop until he’s on the floor, trying to escape Louis’ fingers. He’s not entirely successful, but Louis gets distracted when he grabs the remote and presses play. 

Liam’s slowly getting used to being so close to Louis that he’s almost on top of him. This time with his arm around Liam’s shoulders and his leg over Liam’s knees, thighs spread wide. Liam’s kind of pushed down into the sofa by him, and Liam’s stopped trying to understand why Louis does anything the way he does. 

He’s slowly getting used to the closeness. But Louis’ hand on his thigh, fingers tracing up and down on the inseam of Liam’s joggers, he’s not used to. 

Honestly, Liam’s not sure which of the Die Hard films they’re watching. There are things happening on the television, things blowing up, but Liam’s so lost. 

When it’s a quieter moment on the telly, Louis turns to him, and Liam’s notices at once. Maybe too soon, since Louis blinks at him, biting his lip. He looks almost nervous, and it’s just the two of them, nothing to be nervous about, so Liam starts to worry almost at once. 

Liam’s good at coming up with things that can go wrong. 

“So,” Louis says, and while his hands stop moving, he doesn’t take off of Liam’s thigh. “I’ve an _idea_ , and you might hate it.”

It’s now Louis is going to tell him he wants someone else, which is strange and maybe unreal. But if anyone could do it, it would be Louis, Liam reckons. He would be able to do anything. Liam does hate that idea. 

“I thought we could help each other. I mean that we could mess around, or whatever,” Louis rushes out. “As _mates_ , I mean.”

Liam knows it’s a bad idea. With how he feels for Louis, it’s only going to mess things up. But it would let him have Louis in a way he can’t now.

“It would be fun,” Louis says as if it’s a joke. And not them snogging or fucking or how far Louis is willing to take it. 

Liam nods and blurts out, “Yeah. Okay. Why not?”

He could probably write a long list with reasons why it’s a bad idea, but getting to have Louis in any way outweigh all of those things. 

“Now is a good time as any, we might as well,” Louis says and pushes his hand a little higher. Liam stares down at his hand, and while Louis isn’t touching him near his dick, Liam knows it’s so, so close to that already. Louis is forward, and he takes what he wants -- and that seems to be Liam’s cock right now, from the way he’s watching him. 

And they’ve not even kissed yet. 

He’s the one that kisses Louis; it’s a bit off centre, a press of dry lips against his. It makes something twist warmly in his stomach, and he’s smiling when he pulls away. Louis is smiling too, and it makes him feel less tense about this whole thing. Both because all things that could go wrong, and because he’s so new to this. 

He’s just been kissed, and while it wasn’t more than quick smack, it makes him want to do it again and again. 

Maybe it is a good idea. They won’t have to make things complicated. Everything is fun with Louis. _So why won’t this be?_

Never mind that they will have to go to bed and sleep next to each other afterwards, probably waking up in an embrace of some sort. Here on the sofa, it’s a more neutral zone than their bed. This way he won’t have to spend hours lying awake next to Louis in the same bed that he kissed him, and more. 

This way, there might be a few awkward moments when Niall and Harry sit next to them, and all Liam can think of is kissing Louis. Still, that’s easy to ignore now. 

“Okay.” He shivers when Louis slips his hand up. He’s not touching Liam _there_ but his hand is warm and if he moves it an in or two, he would. “We can if you want to?”

They spend some time just kissing, touching over their clothes. Louis is not shy with him, but he’s careful, coaxing him why soft kisses. Liam’s eyes are closed, and all he can think of is how Louis feels and sounds -- his breathing a bit faster than before, and his hand warm when it rests against Liam’s neck. 

Liam opens his eyes when their lips part with a slick sound. Louis looks so well kisses already, lips pinker and fuller, and his cheeks are flushed, too. Liam feels unbelievably happy right then that he’s the one that made Louis look like that.

“You want more, right?” Louis asks, and Liam thinks it’s nice of him to ask once again. That he just doesn’t rush through this without Liam having time to think about it.

Liam’s hard by now, and his joggers are tented, so obviously that Louis must know. He’s still kept his hand away from Liam’s cock, as if he thinks he might overwhelm Liam if he rushes things. Liam’s so ready to be touched, though. 

With all the teasing, he won’t last long when Louis, finally, gets his hand on him. Liam should have known that Louis likes to tease, but he’s not allowed himself to think about Louis like that. 

He’s done his best not to, but Liam’s not perfect.

They’re twisted toward each other, and at some point, Liam’s crawled up on his knees so he can lean into Louis when he kisses him. It’s nice, Louis’ tongue is clever, and Liam keeps letting out these little moans. He can’t help it; it feels like he’s about to come in his joggers, just from kissing if Louis bites his bottom lip like that once more. 

Liam’s lips must be puffy and deep pink; they tingle when he pulls away, smiling down at Louis. 

“Want you in my lap,” Louis murmurs, brushing his hand down Liam’s back. 

Liam almost falls into his lap, clumsy because of nerves. He’s not even ashamed, and he grins to himself when he sits down on Louis’ thighs. They’re warm and solid underneath him, and Liam can’t stop moving, restlessly shifting. It feels nice, and Liam thinks about rubbing off against Louis’ cock. 

It’s a lovely thought, and he grips Louis’ shoulders and arches his back slightly. 

“Almost like a lapdance,” Louis teases, twisting his nipple. It sends a spark through his body, and his cock jerks. That’s new. Louis has broken him. 

“Pretty sure I should get undressed, in that case,” Liam says, testing out how it feels to grind against Louis. It makes his body tense with pleasure, and he needs more of the feeling. 

Louis smirks and drags his tank top over his head, causing his hair to be even more unruly. He looks well fucked already, eyes blown dark and lips wet and pink. Liam wants to put his mouth everywhere on all that new, naked skin, and he swallows hard. 

“Now you,” Louis murmurs and Liam just sits there when Louis pushes his hands in underneath his t-shirt, slowly lifting it over Liam’s head. He might push into Louis’ hands a little, loving the feeling of Louis’ knuckles against his skin.

Liam tips his head and kisses Louis, needing to feel the difference with no clothes between them, just skin on skin. It’s warmer, more intimate, and Liam’s even noisier when Louis’ fingers find his nipples again, thumbs rubbing flatly over them. 

Liam can feel Louis’ cock, and he knows he’s hard, too. It’s a lot to take in, that he can feel the head through the fabric of Louis’ glittery joggers when he reaches down to touch. His hand in trembling when he feels the shape out, pressing down with his fingers where he can feel a wet spot at the tip. 

He’s made Louis like that. 

“Get your joggers down,” Louis groans out when Liam rubs his hand against him more firmly. “Need to get my hands on you.”

Liam nods and lifts his hips to push the joggers down, just under his balls. His cock gets stuck in them, and bobs free -- Liam’s too busy staring when Louis pulls his dick out that he forgets to touch. 

Louis’ cock is almost pretty. As pretty as a cock can be, it’s not so big that it’s scary but it’s not small either, and the foreskin is pulled back so the tip is shiny with precome. 

Liam sighs and gets up to take his joggers of properly when he notices that he barely can move. He can’t get close to Louis like that; when he’s naked, he sits down on Louis’ lap again, and is pulled in by Louis’ hands on his hips so he’s as close as he can be. 

“How do you want to do this?” Liam asks, bucking his hips upwards when Louis fits them both in his hand. He can’t quite reach, and his grip it a bit too dry. It takes some shuffling, and Louis lifting his hips while Liam giggles, but then it works. Louis’ cock is so hot against his, and Liam’s never been more turned on in his life. 

Louis groans, mouth against Liam’s collarbone. He nips the skin there, sucks it between his teeth, and Liam thinks he’s forgotten to answer when he says, “Doesn’t matter as you as you keep making those bloody _noises_ , Liam.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t do it like this,” Liam says and Louis stops, taking his hand away. Liam can’t stop moving, rocking against Louis’ lap. “I just _mean_ , we might make a mess of the sofa.”

“Oh, you mean like that,” Louis mutters, relieved. “Thought you wanted to stop doing this, and leave me to have the words quickest wank ever. And I’m pretty sure we’re sitting on come stains daily.”

Liam stops trying roll his hips against Louis’ cock. He’s jealous, even though he’s always assumed that Louis had done this before. He tells himself not to be, but his stomach twists uncomfortably at the thought of Louis with someone else.

“Those idiots are great roommates,” Louis says, unaware of the turmoil of feelings his words causes in Liam. “But they're fucking horndogs.”

“Oh,” Liam says and relaxes.

Louis licks his hand and starts wanking them again, their cockhead rubbing together as Liam thrusts into his hand. It’s wetter, precome bubbling from the tip when Louis rubs under his cockhead. 

“Fuck,” Liam groans, and he can feel just how close he is. His whole body is getting tense, and his hips keep jerking forward. 

“Come on,” Louis urges him on, his free hand twisting one of Liam’s nipples. “I want you to come.”

It’s all it takes. He stops holding back, trying to make it last longer. 

He comes over Louis’ stomach and his hand with a drawn out moan, resting his sweaty forehead against Louis’ neck. His cock wets Louis’ stomach, streaks of come that smears between them when he presses close to kiss Louis, his hand still jerking him through the last of the orgasm. 

He’s still shivering all over when he pushes Louis’ hand out of the way and grips his cock. It’s almost like his own, the angle a bit different, but it’s also the first time he touches somebody else’s cock. It’s scary and new and exciting, and Liam just wants it to be good. But he doesn’t get to touch Louis for more than a minute of two, and then Louis comes, too. 

It's messy and clumsy and just as perfect as Liam thought it’d be. It doesn’t make Liam’s feelings for Louis any less intense. Louis is wonderful when he’s thoroughly kissed, and so fucked out he’s just smiling up at Liam. 

Liam’s a mess himself; his cock has started to soften, and he’s still halfway in Louis’ lap. 

“Let’s go to bed,” Louis mumbles with one last kiss to his lips. “Fucking exhausted.”

Liam follows Louis into the bedroom, after a quick check that there aren't any stains on the sofa. It’s weirdly not weird to go to bed that night. It’s just like any other night, the two of them going to bed and curling close to each other. 

\-- -- --

It’s not long until they spend their first night in their own bed, the same way they did on the sofa. Liam even gives his first blowjob, with Louis’ hands in his hair and his low voice telling him how good he is. 

Liam gets a lot of firsts done the first week they’re doing this fuckbuddy-thing. 

They keep messing around, but don’t tell Niall and Harry. It’s not like they’re dating; it’s just a thing between them. Liam’s not insulted that Louis doesn’t seem to feel the need to tell anyone, even though he kind of wants to himself. 

It would be nice to be able to hold Louis’ hand. Well, more in a boyfriend way that he does already. He’s falling harder and harder for Louis, and he can’t stop, it feels like. 

The hickeys on Liam’s neck that Louis loves to bite into his skin, they’re not exactly difficult to spot. Harry’s noticed; the dirty jokes come every time Liam leaves his room in the mornings. 

“Think we should talk,” Niall says when it’s just the two of them at home. Louis is out with Harry, helping him get a gift for Niall. 

Liam knows the new purple mark on his skin is what Niall wants to talk about. He’s been eying it the whole morning with this look in his eyes. Liam wonders if they should have been more discreet, but it felt too good to stop the night before. To pull away from Louis’ hot mouth wasn’t even on his mind. 

He drinks some on the tea Louis made for him just before he left, trying to think of something that doesn’t make him hot and bothered with Niall right there. 

Niall is so attentive; he would notice the slightest change in Liam right now. 

“Right,” Liam says and turns to face Niall. He’s not ashamed; they’ve not done anything wrong, even if it’s a bit complicated. 

“I just wanted you to know that we think it’s great that you're dating,” Niall says and gives Liam a reassuring look. He must have looked tense, then. “Louis had the hugest crush on you from the start, so it’s good.”

“We’re not dating,” Liam says, almost choking on his tea. He puts it on the counter, shaking his head. “We’re just, you know.” He makes a vague hand gesture and tries to stop himself from blushing. 

“You’re just like Harry and me,” Niall says slowly, looking a bit confused. As if Liam doesn’t make any sense. “You go on bloody dates, for fuck’s sake.”

_You’ve no idea how much we’re like the two of you,_ Liam doesn’t say. Then he realises just what Niall said, except that he thought they were dating. That can’t be right, though. Louis isn’t in love with him, or has a crush on him. 

“And what do you mean that Louis has a crush on me?” Liam asks, now sounding as confused as Niall. 

“You know he’s been pulling your pigtails.” Niall doesn’t say anything more, maybe feeling like it’s not his thing if now Liam really doesn’t know. 

“We’re soulmates,” Liam blurts out and even though it’s Louis’ secret and he’s keeping it for him, he doesn’t feel bad about it. Niall needs to know to understand properly. “Me and Louis, we’re soulmates, and I’m in love with him.”

Niall doesn’t look as shocked as Liam thought he would, he just smiles and pats his arm gently. “Think you need to talk to him.”

Liam nods. Niall is right. It’s time that they talk. It’s long time overdue, even. 

\-- -- --

They’re still in bed; Liam’s been awake for some time. He’s on his side, facing Louis, who’s got his face half hidden in his pillow. Louis is barely awake, sleepy eyes and a slow smile. Liam’s unable to stop thinking about what Niall said the night before. 

That Louis might have a thing for him.

When he thinks about how Louis acts around him, Niall is right about a lot of things. They do act a lot like a couple, and Louis is pretty possessive of his time with Liam. 

“Niall said something interesting yesterday,” Liam says instead of ‘good morning’. Louis rarely thinks it is anyway. Might as well get it over with, just so he then can know for sure. 

Louis yawns, his yaw making a clicking sound. “Don’t tell the lad that, can’t have him getting an ego.” It’s the last thing anyone would think of Niall, and Louis sounds amused just by the idea of it. Amused and tired.

“He said you had a crush on me during X Factor. The first season you were on, I mean.” Liam’s heart feels like it’s about to beat out of his chest, and he’s almost nauseous. But now it’s out there. He’s said it. 

Louis’ eyes widen. But then he shrugs, as much as possible while lying down on his side. It’s a bit lazy, and a lot like Louis. “Everybody had a crush on you.”

That’s not a denial, and Liam starts smiling even though it’s not really a confirmation either. He knows Louis well enough to know that it’s his way of saying that it’s true. 

“You know,” Liam says, taking Louis’ hand. He’s pretty sure Louis won’t try to run away, but Liam’s nervous. “I wouldn’t mind spending the rest of my life with you.”

Louis snorts and flicks Liam’s nose with his free hand. “High praise, Liam. One would think you’re the one in love with me.”

Liam takes a deep breath, squeezing Louis’ hand harder. “But I am in love with you.”

“I still have the worst crush on you,” Louis admits, shyer than Liam’s used to from him. He looks at their hands, and he worries his bottom lip with his teeth. “I might even say that I love you. This whole fuck buddy thing was just something I thought _you_ would like.”

Liam knows what Louis means by that. Before he met Louis, long after even, he thought that whoever he was bonded to, would end up not liking him. It was never so much about Liam not wanting love; it was that he was afraid not to be enough. He’s been not enough so many times in his life. 

With Louis, he knows that he’s good enough and that their bond was just meant to pull them together. It’s not sure that they would have gotten over their silly grudge to see how well the actually fit together. 

Liam’s never been happier, not even on stage. “Did you know that we already are dating? At least, that’s what Niall says.” 

Louis scoots forwards, pressing a kiss to his cheek. His morning breath doesn’t bother Liam, so he sneaks a quick snog before Louis pulls away. “Something like that yeah.”

“We might as well tell our mums,” Liam says jokingly even though that’s going to happen sooner or later. Louis looks sheepish, weirdly guilty, and Liam just knows that Louis already has told his. 

“I’m sorry,” Louis says and wriggles his eyebrows. “I could give you a blowjob if you forgive me.”

Liam’s not really upset; glad that Louis has had his mum to talk to. It’s been hard at times, but even then it’s so worth it now. He’ll happily take the morning blowjob anyway. He can never get enough of those. 

It’s forever, and Liam’s okay with that. They’ve their first tour coming up, and while it’s not just _their_ tour, it’s a big step in their career. With Louis by his side, it can’t end anyway than being a hit. 

**Author's Note:**

> [New tumblr post](http://pandadepanda.tumblr.com/post/149277423879/fic-a-long-road-to-happiness) My ask box is always open for new fic ideas, prompts, or for just to say hello. :-)
> 
> Kudos/Comments/Reblogs/Likes are made of gold <333


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